The luxury of Being
Beginning of December I decided to declare the month off, I canceled my Nia classes, put a hold on few things I wanted to engage in, and didn’t make plans for anything! 2016 was a big year for me, with lots of traveling and projects. It was a great year of self reflection, growth, and learning. In September, I got the Nia black belt, which was pinnacle in my Nia journey. In November, I completed my studies and earned my license as a Radical Living Coach. So December sounded like a logical time off.
With a lot of time on my hands and no commitments, I began reading. I love reading for hours with no interruptions, being swept away into the authors world.
There were few days that I didn’t even want to talk to any one, I wanted silence. I have two kids so that wasn’t entirely possible, but when the kids were in school or asleep, I remained silent. I drifted from reading to watching mindless tv. My over critical judgmental voice in my head assumed I was as depressed and my entire world was collapsing! I let it speak so a while then I asked him to drop the non sense ( yes I do talk to the voices in my head, there are so many of them and I learned to be friends with them). I just needed time to be and not do! As I began reflecting on my need to go slow, avoid external communication, and just be, I realized that I’m very fortunate to be able to do that. I can choose to just sit and do nothing. I’m not the breadwinner in the family, I do work that I love and it gives me a satisfying sense of purpose ( although I haven’t discovered my purpose in life but I’m getting there). I’m blessed to be able to just be when I needed.
I have learned a valuable lesson in listening to what my needs are and be with the flow. When I was feeling down and blue, I allowed it to be, I resisted the urge to cheer my self up and brush it off. I trusted it will take its course and subsidies, and it did. It’s amazing what happens when I trust my own rhythms and step aside and allow thing to happen, to allow my self to be.