Hello World

just a gigantic picture of how I want you to think my desk looks

I am not going to start off with a formal introduction which starts off by describing my family then my education, my aspirations, my interests and everything else I seem to read in the first post of many bloggers.

No, I’m not about that because I’ve done that every time I’ve tried to create a blog. I’ll rephrase that — I’ve done that every time I’ve tried to create and maintain a blog. I have around… four different blogs on different platforms out of which I’ve barely used one, never even finished setting up the LiveJournal one (just deleted), the one where I actually put in effort and wrote for some time before quitting cold turkey and leaving it out in the open. And the other one that I deleted but was on the same platform of the last one that I mentioned — blogspot.

Before writing this post, I had half a mind of starting this “blog” on Wix. The reason was because I had earlier helped out an… inexperienced friend with setting up her blog on the aforementioned site and the whole process had been quite a breeze. Not sure how often she’s going to be using that but she’s a writer here at Medium as well. Her blog is over at Yashica Mishra. Her writing style is something that really doesn’t click with me because a common man will not be able to comprehend what she’s trying to say. I do consider her to be quite a good speaker but her vocabulary isn’t as fancy as what she puts on her blog.

If you’re reading this, Yashica, do try to write in a down to earth manner. You can be formal while maintaining an air of a person who’s in touch with her surroundings. I’m by no means a professional critic but if my opinion can help — don’t try to be so abstract. That’s what I gain after reading a post by you. And a migraine from Googling up half the words but that’s not the point.

Enough about her, back to me.

I’m sixteen and I reside in India. Born to an upper middle class family, I’ve been raised by incorporating family values and Hindu morales. For the most part, I’d identified as a Hindu but that changed after reaching adolescence. “Ah, the period of rebellion. Hormones raging and the undoubting sense of superiority”. That’s what we teenagers are usually met with and to very honest, it’s somewhat right.

A lot of us are impulsive and those “in the moment” characters. Adrenalin is craved and enjoyment is found in being validated by having someone laugh at your joke or gaining attention by being popular. With that, I present to you a quote that I’m somewhat stealing from a comedian whose name I do not remember -

There are two kinds of people in this world — those who like attention. And the others - bloody liars.

The difference lies in the measure of “attention”. I have a reputation of being indifferent to most of the happennings in the school. Oh, you got a girlfriend? That’s cool. Oh, you score a perfect in Mathematics? Good for you. Oh, you had a new haircut? I couldn’t care less which is why I didn’t acknowledge it in the first place.

No, I’m not trying to be that cool, edgy, and angsty teen, I just have no interest… to an extent. However, if something happens to a friend of mine, I have to know about it. My friend circle tends to be quite small which is why I can’t impart a lot of my attention to other people but I try to make sure that the ones I do care about are in their prime all the time. No, I have no intention of becoming a mother but I remember back in 8th grade two of my friends had a big fight over something. They weren’t on speaking terms and that saddened me a bit. Being in the same class, it was easy for me to get them to start acknowledging each other’s existence again and finally resolve their differences to become mates again.

This surprised one of them because I had never taken an initiative of doing anything for them before and so she even asked me why I did it.

I had no reply and just cracked a joke to avoid that discussion. To this day, I don’t like to discuss my reasons for why I do things because if it turns out that I don’t have one, I’m not in a good mood anymore.

And that’s what I am most of the times — in a good mood. I’ve a lot of stories to share just like everyone else out there but I enjoy to type on a keyboard and have people read the words that flow out of my fingers into this screen. However promotion is something I’m not looking out for which is why I won’t be spamming this out everywhere. Just feels good to let it out sometimes.

Plus, I’m kind of hoping no one reads it since I don’t want anyone to. Just a secret little place where I can voice my opinions because trust me, my dear reader, I’ve a few. I, however, am a staunch opponent of single mindedness and I despise people who live in a bubble and cry at every little poke of a third party thought that tries to penetrate it. I really enjoy healthy and sometimes, aggressive debates that can change my mind or if I can do the same with my objector. It’s quite an eye opening experience. Would definitely recommend but it’s 2018, friend. People only wait for their chance to speak instead of listening to the other.

Maybe that’s why I enjoy writing. You can pen down whatever you have to say and you’ll be sure that the reader is reading it. Whether or not they agree with you, you’ll at least be certain that they understood it — and that again is a challenge that I, as a writer, want to overcome. The challenge of getting my point across by being decorous and understanding and at the same time, not being constrained to viewing things with my own eye. Judgemental is the last things I want to be remembered for.

I think I’ve spoken enough today so… yeah. That’s it for me, I suppose.

I hope you didn’t sleep halfway through this post and that I was able to shed some light into my mind. Because after all, that’s the point of a blog, isn’t it?

Thank you.

Manan

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