National Coming Out Day
If you are in a position where you can come out to the people around you, you ought to do so.
I moved to Brighton a little over a year ago, and I found it hard to be motivated to come out. The personal benefit to me seemed minimal — the catharsis of being true to myself had been realised at university. I had a partner and so wasn’t looking for a relationship. Homophobic behaviour and expectations were not causing me any great trouble.
Looking back It was selfish for me to take so long to come out (again), and I regret it.
Before you first come out the ‘little’ (which they aren’t) pieces of homophobia feel huge. Every time someone makes a joke about ‘bumming’, or uses language that assumes people are straight, or stereotypes queer people you monitor your own reaction. Did they notice that I took a split second longer to respond, or that I am sweating a little more, that I feel uncomfortable? Do they know? You feel like you are lying to everyone around you, that the revelation of that lie might break their trust in you, and that at any moment you might accidentally reveal your ‘true’ self.
Being out supports closeted queer people. It trivially modifies the behaviour of those around you to minimise the number of ‘little’ events. It allows you to be a pillar of support. I know every queer person is extremely thankful for the people in their lives who they were able to turn to in confidence, who they knew would take their concerns seriously and understand where they are coming from. It is a huge relief to get drunk with someone without worrying about what you might reveal.
So this national coming out day, for the sake of the closeted people in your life (of which there are doubtlessly many), be out and proud.
