Reasons Behind Disapproval of Interracial Marriage
Cultural and Religious Differences Within Families
Getting married is a beautiful thing and many people will be very happy for you. However, in many cultures if people of different ethnicity marry, heartbreaking judgement and non acceptance occur; especially within family bonds. Personally, I am all for interracial marriage, I find absolutely nothing wrong with having diversity within a family or culture. However some people may discover they feel differently. Many people who consider themselves not racist or have no basis on who their children decide to date, can soon discover they may have been in denial with themselves. If a situation occurs where their son or daughter decides to bring home someone of a different race, it might be sort of shocking or unexpected. Afterwards, they may realize that they possibly do have some bias on who they want to become a part of their family.
Some parents may say they will be accepting of whoever their children choose marry, as long as they have certain moral standards; these standards of course, can vary per family or culture. This sort of thing can bring a whole new issue to the table. People don’t realize how much of an impact a different race or culture will play in their lives. They don’t realize it until they are faced with someone who is considered “different”. They may not be racist, but then find out they still have a racial preference because they are afraid of what different ideas or ways of living their sons black girlfriend, who is Muslim, will convince or change in their son, on how they have raised him in their white christian home.
Disapproval from friends and family for marrying someone from a different race is very common, especially common in the south. In an article I have read recently, it talks about experiences some biracial couples have gone thru living in the south during the 1980’s. It discusses how common it was and still is at times for interracial couples to be harassed by their own families and friends. One example of this harassment is from a man named Elmo Seay and his White wife, Susan. They fled from their home in Atlanta because one night their home was vandalized and fire bombed. Another couple by the names of Susan Hill and her black husband John, began to get so frustrated and offended by the constant harassment from their friends, family, landlords and employees that they decided to leave the area for quite some time while until the commotion started to die down. The article also mentioned how stares and whispers are the most common form of harassment in the south. Susan Hill also mentioned, “It was like I had committed a crime, being from a small town, it just like it is born and bred in some people that they should not like Blacks, no matter what.” Another woman by the name of Deborah Mathis, says she and her husband have a troubling experience with a brother in law of her husband Gil was a reaction of a brother in law who stopped communicating with them completely to protest what he believed was “race mixing”. She also talks about the glares she gets from Black men. She feels their disapproval is most adamant. When Black men glare at her she feels as if they are saying to her, “What we weren’t good enough”? She tries to explain that she did not marry her White husband to prove a point, she married him for the same reason other people have been getting married for years, because they love each other.
In a blog I read recently by a girl named Mell Nyoko, she talks about her personal experience of dating people from different cultures and what her friends and family would say about who she should be dating. “As one uncle put it to me [I’m Congolese], “If you married a Nigerian, how would you cope if he wanted to retire in Nigeria? Think about it. I doubt he will want to move back to Congo. You will just die in Nigeria. Love blinds common sense.”” She then went on to talk about how she came to realize more of the differences that were presented to her as she dated men from different countries. “However, as I got older and continued to date people from other countries, I realized there was always a barrier in the way, almost like a culture clash, and language, I felt, was the ultimate clash as it is one of the key markers of culture. It didn’t help when I went to their houses and the family would purposely speak in their language to exclude me, which reminded me that I wasn’t one of them.”
Society also plays a major role in acceptance of interracial marriage. Interracial marriage between a black and a white person was not legal in the United States until the year 1967; thanks to the Virginia vs. Loving case.
The story of Richard and Mildred Loving is not only inspiring but their love story marked one of the biggest moments in US history. ”On July 11, 1958, newlyweds Richard and Mildred Loving were asleep in bed when three armed police officers burst into the room. The couple were hauled from their house and thrown into jail, where Mildred remained for several days, all for the crime of getting married. At that time, 24 states across the country had laws strictly prohibiting marriage between people of different races.
In 1963, they approached the American Civil Liberties Union to fight their case in court. After an extensive legal battle, the Supreme Court ruled that laws prohibiting interracial marriage were unconstitutional. Although such laws officially remained on the books in several states, the Lovings’ landmark victory rendered them effectively unenforceable, ensuring nobody else would have to endure the same treatment.”
The percentages of approval and disapproval of white people marrying black people in society today has changed drastically. Today, 87% of people in the United States approve of interracial or black and white marriage, vs. 4% of approval in 1958.
Thanks to the Loving’s I was able to be married to my sweetheart who is from Mozambique Africa. My husband was adopted when he was 17 years old from Mozambique Africa. He plans to go back to his country so he can help his family that still lives there and do something politically for his country.
When we were dating my mother in law did not approve. She felt that because I was American, I would refuse to go to Africa, and there would be too many cultural differences in our marriage. After time, she was able to overcome her feelings of doubt and was nothing but supportive of us being married. We are married, saving money to go to Africa, and couldn’t be happier with each other. Our cultural differences rarely get in the way of how we do things as a couple. We are both very understanding of each other and our differences.
Works Cited
“Interracial Relationships That Changed History.” PBS. PBS, n.d. Web. 26 Oct. 2015.
Nyoko, Mell. “”Stick to Dating within Your Own Culture!”” This Is Africa. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Oct. 2015.
Wang, Yuan. “Story about Interracial Marriage.” YouTube. YouTube, 9 May 2012. Web. 26 Oct. 2015.
Turner, R.D. “Interracial Couples In The South.” Ebony 45.8 (1990): 41–49. Academic Search Premier. Web. 6 Dec. 2015.