Rachel, thank you for sharing this. I am so very desperately sorry that your husband died. My 17-month-old daughter died five years ago from a sudden infection, and although it didn’t go quite as fast, it was still as stealthy as a leopard, as unstoppable as a train, and as unbelievable as if unicorns had flown in through the window. I’ve written about it more times than I care to count — it seems it may be the only thing I can write about. I’m not funny — humor just isn’t among my talents, but I am so grateful for those for whom it is, and I thank you for sharing that gift here.
What hit me most deeply from this piece was this: “Suddenly the range of the type of sad you can feel, to the type of happy you can feel, is busted open. The spectrum from happy to sad isn’t a foot wide anymore — it’s as far as your arms can stretch and then to the edges of the room and then up the block and over into the next neighborhood.”
It is difficult for me to think of anything truer about profound and devastating loss than that. Thank you for giving words to it.