Still not fully done reading but wanted to add two things. 1. You are tremendous writer with incredible access to your inner life, a gift few have in this particular way. I hope you can realize and give yourself the credit of this (I know I sometimes have trouble giving myself credit and celebrating stuff and feeling gratitude…and when I remember to take the time to do, I feel like life is so much richer and more abundant). 2. When you talked about the little rules you have for yourself, I very much related and I wanted to share a reframing thing that I often think about. I am so very much a neurotic (one of the two great camps that divide people, thank you The Road Less Traveled), and I’ve learned to see my monkey-mind frenetic brain as a thing to play with and have fun with and even “cheat” in a way so that I can get things accomplished. Meaning: I do this trick all the time with myself. If I have seven things to do (because I hate being told what to do and am such a willful person…) I will kind of “luxuriate” in being a naughty girl who is writing or cleaning or whatever the one of the seven things I am doing instead of the original one that I intended. It is a trick that works for me again and again.