Is Clickbait The New Crack?
Or whatever they’re smoking these days.
As a writer, I am always browsing for inspiration and ideas. Who am I kidding. I’m usually found deep inside the rabbit hole we now call the internet. With zero hope of finding my way back up. None, zilch, nada.
I can surf for hours without a meal or a coffee break. Until the time one finally needs a bio break (I was about to say pee break, but I heard this really fancy substitute at a client’s office, so there).
Clearly, there are powerful spells at work that make me stay online. Armies of faceless people (who I’m sure are very well paid) who practise the new voodoo of ‘always be clicking’.
Truth is, I sort of know how it’s done. But it still makes me cringe every time I click on something out of curiosity.
This is not a rant
Ok fine, this is sort of a rant. But it’s not about SEO black magic or social media algorithms that keep unsuspecting millions like me and you hooked. Those are things we can’t control.
Fact: the big daddies of the internet need us addicted. How else will these new unicorns, these new captains of the world grow?
See what I did there? I didn’t call out any names. Specially when everyone, and I mean every-single-one-of-us, will be slaving away for our new masters, eventually. Directly or indirectly. Not a lunatic conspiracy theory, this.
Anyway, back to what I started with. Today nearly every business wants millions of minions (also called consumers) clicking away at their content. And it comes to us in every shade of grey, and then some.
Learn from my insights content, let me solve your problem content, looks like user generated content, heart wrenching story, funny meme that’s actually a sales pitch... All streaming 24/7. Popping up on your browser and pinging on your smartphone.
While I pay my rent from creating marketing content, there are ‘come hither’ tactics that don’t quite sit right with me.
I’m all for persuading people, but even I draw the line when push comes to a nasty shove.
Humanity’s new enemy?
Take a look around. It’s evident that the boffins of digital marketing (including, sadly, the likes of me) have succeeded in turning us into screen zombies.
And if there’s one invention responsible for the rot in our collective heads, it’s got to be clickbait — humanity’s new enemy Number 1.
For a term that entered the Oxford English Dictionary merely 3 years back, clickbait has got more engagements to its credit than Zsa Zsa Gabor.
In mature markets, the use and value of clickbait led marketing has already been debated threadbare. So this may sound a little dated to those of you reading in the West.
But in India, where the wonders of content marketing are only just dawning upon business heads, clickbait is still a new, powerful and effective weapon in the content marketing arsenal.
Help! I am a clickbait addict
I willingly succumb to the charms of clickbait every single day. Scratch that. I am dog with a bone kind of compulsive, obsessive clicker (clickbaiter? tapper? whatever).
I swipe and tap my way from one web page to 20 others open in my tabs. From one Ellen DeGeneres video to the next YouTube suggested video. From one blog post to the next ‘you might also like to read’.
I can spend hours upon hours drooling absent-mindedly on 50 Hilarious Memes That Will Make You Laugh Only If You Grew Up In The 90’s. I can lose my way from work research to This simple and tasty recipe will make you instantly hungry in one weak moment of procrastination.
Yeah, I’m a clickbait addict. Bad enough to warrant a support group for my ilk. Or at the very least, this post.
The irony is, I’ve written more clickbaits than I can count (don’t judge, writers need to eat too). Of course, there’s a whole science of human psychology at work behind clickbaits. But please don’t expect me to pontificate on that. (If you’re interested in that sort of thing, you really should read this excellent piece)
I’m just here to confess to my clickbait addiction and let off a little steam.
Right then, you’ve nearly reached the end of this rant. And by now, you must begin to wonder what the whole point of this piece was.
Seems like a good time for me to get back to writing ‘10 fashion faux pas to avoid … #9 will shock you’. Oh wait, look what just popped up WHAT COULD GO WRONG! — Super FUNNY MOMENTS & FAILS compilation. One quick toke (look, I said look) and I’ll be back to work. Promise.
If you made it this far without falling for any of the clickbait links in this story, you deserve a pat on the back. And a chance to read a couple of my other stories below. Enjoy!
