If someone asks me what does it take to become your true self?
I will say ;
It takes everything-every pinch of yourself to become true self.
It takes all that effort where you pick everyone else’s happiness before you, no matter how hard it is for you at that point. No matter how often you break into pieces just to fix someone else’s broken heart, you never care how deep wounds you are carrying just to heal someone else wound, making it look so even, smooth and effortless.
It takes a lot to be a true self, be pleasing to others, carries a heart full of faith, empathy and end up in your own sad old storey where you get mistreated unless you prove you are that gem of a person who is always there to fix for them regardless of matter of your concern.
It takes everything to realize you’ve become a puppet in everyone’s life by just changing the relationship as a friend, a sister, a daughter, a lover but the role you are playing for them is still the same. And it’s tough. It strains you, it sucks you but you can’t help yourself, you just can’t help yourself from putting yourself like the least deserving for all the joys and all the upcoming success of life.
So being true self for someone who is kind and warm is not an easy task.
And u see, not everyone’s life is full of disdainful love, not everyone can feel the way you feel that’s the reason we say *every individual is unique*, Unique by character, Unique by appearance.
Nobody in this world is 100% perfect.
**Perfectionism is the boundary set by society as they set on beauty (white beauty standard), nobody is perfect.**
Everyone uses this phrase but you will rarely come across someone who accepts the reality.
What makes you perfect?
If someone asks me ; I will define it in simple terms; * Perfection is being real to you.*
But another person may direct the meaning in opposite direction and it is ok to accept both points.
We rely on so many standards which has nothing to do with how you define. It is all about your understanding.
The world is still processing to accept perception can be made in different styles. And it is ok to perceive things differently. It is ok to be different. What all matters. is we are all humans, we live once and yes live your life, utilise every second to explore the new you. Make yourself special to yourself no matter if other people doesn’t count on you. We don’t need the preset standard to comply with all of the other hands.
The unpleasing experiences in my life have made me more focused on setting pleasant events in future. Life is unpredictable, the moment you enjoy the fragrance of prosperity, you better be ready for the challenges you are about to face next. Life is always like tossing coins, it keeps on flipping, one flick and you are done.
A mixture of emotion, heartbreak, the lonely you, the happy you, the child you, the mature you, the stubborn you, the focused you, kind you, tough you; makes you the real you. It depends on how you deal with it.
We are surrounded by such a narcissistic society that will force us to be abnormal in a normal situation. If you have a heartbreak it will drag you to feel lonely elsewise you are not fit being around them. And trust me it does turn out the same way if it’s a case of successful events, believe me, if you are awarded with your achievement you aren’t allowed to celebrate it either cause non of these things are exciting for others anymore. Non of your emotion makes sense , if not these, that what else makes sense? I’ll tell you, the trauma , the pain, the resentment you express. The more you become harsh more you’ll be cheered up not for the reason your doing good for the reason you are ruining your self.
The fear, fear of being alone shadows our image. Fear of society, fear of relationship, fear of being torture by everyone, fear of not getting appreciated while you achieve something, fear of seeking validation from others , fear of waiting for others to say well done, what if they don’t? What if you yourself is enough? What if you are to rule your world?
◦ If you want to be happy, you should. learn be fearless, I am saying this , and it works, be fearless, doesn’t matter if you have scars.
◦ Scar makes you more bold and flawless. Imagine if you are a clean chit people breaks you will have a heartbreak, you will encounter pain where you are not supposed to, because you will have expectations, attachment. But who cares, scars makes you believe in who you are, what you’ve been through and how far you can go to be yourself , to know yourself.
◦ Scars- means you’ve healed – you are not wounded anymore , and you are all set to travel the world even if there is storm you can drive like nuts and this is all about who you’ve become, all about your journey. No body needs to know this, nobody.
◦ If someone deserves a trophy for being self , give this to the people who stands out breaking all the boundaries of society and heads up to a new beginning.
Being true self is having a patience in life.
I used to feel like I don’t have enough patience on myself because I feel like doing things right now if it’s giving me happiness for example travel/ just take a camera and have a photo shoot/ seek adventures/ try new things/ if someone is in trouble be the first person to help. But I realise lately that this is not what patience stands for.those where the happiness I was looking for, the engagement, the new experiences that enlightens me within.
I realised-
⁃ Patience is as a child;
losing a father at the age of 8 and. waiting for strong struggling mum to arrive home so that she can shower you all the love. you wish and desire for.
⁃ Patience is, as a teen;
falling in. love and being abused in relationship and still processing your thought for better future, future where you want to see yourself. Future- where you want to put all your inputs and seek for an achievement.
⁃ Patience is seeing your dreams falling apart and vowing to continue giving your best shot to fulfil no matter how much pain you have to go through, believing you will end it one day and you will make there.
⁃ Patience is having a strong determination , yet failing thousand times, failing to please others by prioritising their happiness yet forgetting families.
⁃ Patience is stopping yourself from speaking and telling people how you feel and why are you doing these and taking all that Blame on you , no matter how hard they claim you are a liar for the truth and feelings you’ve expressed.
⁃ Patience is keeping your mouth shut when your heart is quenching and screaming telling that I don’t want to but you are doing cause you don’t want to break others heart.
⁃ Patience is. comforting others by keeping yourself at risk cause you know the feeling when you lose your closed ones, when your dreams are not fulfilled and you’ve no one to blame on.
⁃ Patience is not having personal grudge and accepting the situation, situation that has gone wrong and yet you’ve moved on.
⁃ Patience is you being tremendously happy with what you’ve, ignoring all the pain and sacrifices you’ve done to reach here and learning from it.
⁃ Patience is explaining your hard times with the big smile on your face and wanting to inspire others, to let them know how important and beautiful your life is.
⁃ Patience is being true to yourself , not the physical you but the innerself, having a thought process of realising you are enough to make things happen and still you can’t change the kind you and yet you can’t choose your happiness in place if you ever have to make choice.
⁃ Patience- is all about being true self although you seem little too kiddy, little too stubborn/ little too dramatic but you are never one.And true self is you. You should be proud of who you are ~take that advantage of who you are and what you are giving, take that advantage of you being absolutely gorgeous. Praise yourself, start praising yourself, no one is more beautiful than you, nonone can fit on your shoe and walk all the way that you’ve crossed your entire life and. now when you look back feels like you blink and you are already here.
Take that pride of being you, handling you yourself on your worst , take that pride of your insight of you future goals , take that pride you might be little too late to start for new beginning but. it is enough to fill in your diary, diary of your adventure , your life, your priority , your goals , you- yourself. And this is it. This is all it takes to be your true self.
This isn’t easy and do this for yourself.
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. Written by – manita oli (kusum)
