San Franpsycho(n) Valley, Trick or Treat

In the maze of so many intertwined feelings about San Francisco, I like thinking about this city as an old pal — we often squabble, occasionally hate each other, and we hug a lot. Above all, love has always been a constant between us; yet expressed in some twisted and compelling way. This short story is based on both experience and fiction. Written as a hobby, it holds no educative or political purpose whatsoever.

Love, joy, pain, panic, relief, pride, fear, determination, anxiety, fun.

A never-ending emotional steam train whistling in your head, passing by the platform of your mind. You can always choose to take the leap and hop on board the Silicon Valley journey, or step back… Here is the thing: you want to take this train. Because you won’t regret it one bit.

Many have already dealt with this paradox of a city, a place of ups and downs, a mind-blowing roller coaster even for the most valiant spirits. It shows a unique and distorted social configuration — where the billionaires live across from the homeless people, where the perpetual turnover of friends leaves you dizzy and bewildered, and where you are constantly running after some stability in your existence. However, that uniqueness often makes the impossible become practicable, should one be willing to run the extra mile.

“Now there’s a grown-up swinging town.” — Frank Sinatra.

Context. September 2017.

A French woman speeding toward the glorious San Francisco city. These two ladies had briefly met in 2014, thanks to a quick stopover in a long trip around the country. First spotted at San Francisco International Airport (SFO), the newbie is excited like a child as she takes the Bay Area Rapid Train (Bart). People seem nice, it is early in the afternoon, and the weather is warm. ‘Mum, dad, I made it to America!’

Let’s bath into the warm Californian weather — Karl, are you there? — , feel the palm trees, embrace this job eldorado and its crazy festivities. She still remembers that first day as if it was yesterday, when she believed her life had finally turned out the way she wanted it to be. All she could feel was calm and self-satisfaction.

San Francisco is the only city I can think of that can survive all the things you people are doing to it and still look beautiful. — Frank Lloyd Wright.

Current days. A foggy morning.

9:00am. Named Company X in town files an IPO. 11:00am. Real estate folly and equity insanity. 1.00pm. An expat working for a promising foreign startup. 3:00pm. The company is bought by a bigger fish. 5:00pm. The expat starts clawing its way to stay in the country. The early stage tech startup grows into a thriving unicorn, the not-so-trendy one eventually becomes a ghost — invisible. Because it is the reality, Bay Area version: a disruptive idea might be obsolete in a few months, a revolutionary job might not exist anymore in 5 years; or the cryptocurrency bubble can suddenly go mad again and give birth to new millionaires over the night — and so on.

The one city in the world where one can feel both happy and miserable at the same time. Because everything here is transient and, strangely enough, it is the bewitching beauty of it. Living this life is both hard and exceptional — it weighs on you, sometimes until you yield. Resiliency. You eventually stand up again, bitter but stronger, like a bone getting thicker after each fracture.

“San Francisco has only one drawback: ’tis hard to leave.” — Rudyard Kipling

Personal thoughts.

San Francisco. This enchanting and hungry beast that swallows everything and everyone in its path. A place like no other, where the weather, the architecture and the atmosphere change from a district to another; where many have tried biking across Lower Pacific Heights — often failed! — and over its hill splitting the peninsula in two. When I look back and think about everything that has happened from day 1 until today, I feel paradoxically appreciative and a tad teed off. From repetitive professional disillusions to the fascinating ‘work hard-play hard’ way of life; from the feeling of being an alien in this world (a.k.a. the Impostor Syndrome) to the blessing of being around so many great people and individuals.

Anyone could look at the big picture from another angle or through a different prism: for instance, some focus on the outrageous standard of living, others deplore the omnipresent homeless situation; some people deal more deeply with the pervasive tech industry — or supposedly related loss of a genuine cultural mindset over the years. Because so many topics out there could be addressed when thinking about San Francisco. That is also why this city acts a bit as a magnet. You hate it, but you love it.

Relationships are key.

If there is a single and humble piece of advice to take away from this story: you want to nurture the relationships you have today. Cherish your loved ones and be grateful of the fact they never cast you aside, even through repetitive, rough patches. Channel a portion of your energy on your people, because your only ‘adoptive’ family when you live far away from home is made of the people close to you. As strong and independent you might consider yourself to be, never forget that 5,560 miles (French chauvinism) separate you from your relatives back home. I truly believe that everyone needs a shoulder to cry on, or someone else’s jokes to laugh at.

I do not know yet when the time for goodbyes will come, it might happen sooner than later. I feel extremely grateful for this incredible experience nonetheless. It has brought me so much more than I could have hoped for. In spite of being a tough and unforgiving life sometimes, it has certainly opened the door to some of the most meaningful moments of my existence. It has also helped me realise I could fight my way through hardships and adversity, sometimes to some lengths I could never think about before coming in the U.S.

“One day if I go to heaven… I’ll look around and say ‘It ain’t bad. But it ain’t San Francisco.’” — Herb Caen

Always overwhelmed, but never purposeless. Usually struggling, but hardly ever suffering. Often enthralled, rarely unsatisfied. The noose that occasionally tightens generally strengthens your groove. Sometimes lost in the process, you seldom find loneliness. Fog on your summer clothes, strong breeze on your awes.

Sunset on my mind, sunrise on my kind.

Published on LinkedIn.