Advisory content: Not suitable for THEISTS basically. Might invoke severe reactions-mainly diarrhoea.

Before the beautiful minds of all doe-eyed innocent youngsters (pun intended)were corrupted by the oozing charisma of “Game of thrones”, they spent their time gathering in front of the television (no flat screen, whaaaatttt!!!) with the whole neighbourhood to watch the epic Mahabharata, the original game of thrones sans the…well…ahem…nudity and gore. Oh! How much we appreciate gore.

As history repeats itself, the epic battle of the throne of Hastinapur is back on air. If that’s not enough people are reinventing story lines of old God tales (Amish’s Shiva Trilogy). Religion sells here. Believe me when I say, agnostics and atheists have no business in India. You utter the A-word and your family is going to disown you even before you could run a Google search for ‘witch burning in 1692’. And I mention that because being a non-believer makes you equivalent of a witch (and you thought witches were cool after Harry Potter happened). Atheism is a big no-no because come on, there has to be at least one God amongst those thousands of holy ones who could have taken you down the path of salvation.

Coming second in the race of just two, the agnostics win the exclusive preview of a horror movie “I-know-which-god-you-didn't-pray-to-last-time”. The person moping at the back of the queue in the temple, yes, that’s your typical agnostic. A peculiar lot really, finding reasons to just say-It might be, it might not be. Let’s get back to more important work, shall we?- simply because they know everything is not meant to be known. Some things are just better left unknown. It could be damaging, running after every uncovered thing. Take the 2012 doomsday catastrophe for example. We were better off not knowing what that stupid calender of Mayans was meant for. We got an extremely lame movie ‘2012' and India TV’s reports on ‘kya aa gya hai duniya ka ant? (English translation: Is the end of our world near?)’ out of the whole fiasco!

So, as the question of God’s existence overshadows the imaginative drawings of fairies, trolls, unicorns by 4-year olds, I give you the two rules that I happened to discuss with my imaginary friend named ‘Channing Tatum’s body’ who also, by the way, denies the existence of God (No supreme being would ever be such a miser to not make 7.2 billion copies of Channing Tatum)

Rule No. 1:

Fake it till you make it! When your mum and dad drag you along to the temple/church/gurudwara/ mosque, just pretend you have attained Nirvana and God’s your old friend.

Rule No. 2:

Slap yourself hard. There is no giving up, soldier! Constant vigilance, as good old Mad Eye Moody would say (Rejoice if you are a Harry Potter fan, kill yourself if not). Reread Rule no. 1.

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to hurt anyone’s sentiments. You could be right, I could be wrong or you could be wrong, I could be right. It works that way. Now don’t provoke me or I might start writing on Gay rights ;)