Do opposites attract in relationships?
You might have seen a few quotes saying “A talkative girl and a silent boy make the best pair” Is it true? Really do opposites attract?
There are opposites for a balance like day and night, good and evil, sea and land, life and death, and more.
It is often said and believed by many people that opposites attract. But the thing is that there is not much conversation that proves the statement and explains why or how.
I have seen movies where an innocent girl gets attracted to a mischievous boy. Sometimes you may have a friend who is an introvert being shy and gets attracted to an outgoing extrovert and friendly person. It seems to make sense that they make a good match.
Sometimes food, style, preferences, and sometimes even astrological signs, especially in Asian countries which are considered to be opposite, attract each other.
This article discusses do opposite attracts, and why people who are different from one another find themselves attracted to each other. Also, you will know the pros and cons of dating your opposite and what makes the relationship a success.
Initially, why do we attract our opposite?
You think that when a person is the same as you, life will seem to be boring. In the initial moments, opposites may attract because the other person seems new and exciting.
Opposites are required to balance, which is why there are opposites on the Earth including hot and cold, light and darkness, and male and female. From this perspective being attracted to the opposite is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of our species and becoming psychologically whole.
Science shows us that we are born to bond not with just anyone but with the reciprocal opposite.
After the initial moments, you will decide to date. The ways you are opposite enhances the appeal of you two as a couple. In the beginning stages, the differences will seem to arouse one’s curiosity or interest. This is because differences have yet to prove to be an obstacle in relationships.
Have you ever noticed your parents seem completely different? For example, your mother would be short-tempered, dedicated to order, and used to remembering everything while your father would be a patient, unorganized person, and would forget things.
They would be both deeply compassionate, united in political beliefs, enjoy the outdoors, and prioritize family. So they are not being totally opposite but will have seemingly conflicting personalities.
So it can be concluded that you would be drawn to someone who seems to be different.
Reasons why the opposite attracts
You may wonder, do opposites attract? Some people totally believe that the opposite attracts. But the thing is since you are a child you will be with people with whom you’ll have similar likes and dislikes and would not be with people who are opposite to you. So how can it work in a relationship?
In some cases, people with opposite personalities become closer and will be happier in their relationship. There are many reasons, why opposites attract when sharing a partnership.
Characteristics
Each person has individual traits to make their personality unique. This difference is what makes that first conversation last for hours. Why would someone feel so happy to choose a particular way of life that is dissimilar from their own?
It could be to prove intimidating or a weakness that you are trying to improve.
For example, if you are an introvert who does not start any conversation and feels shy will want a person who is an extrovert and would be able to start any conversation. So that you would be comfortable with them instead of being with another introvert who would not start a conversation.
When you are with an opposite person, you’ll have more chances to explore things that are different.
Also, opposites that go together tend to complement each other and generally, in these types of relationships, a friendship develops with mutual respect and then becomes a relationship.
Complementary
If you both are good dancers there is less chance that you would get a good compliment from your partner who is also a good dancer. But if your partner is a singer, then there are high chance that you get compliments for your dance. So when the opposite attracts, each person will complement the other.
There will be a pleasant and talkative personality with someone else who chooses to stay on the sidelines so that when one person lacks something, it will be provided by the other. Instead of wondering do opposite attracts you might see how the other’s gaps are filled by working cohesively together to enhance attributes.
Individualism
In relationships, it is better if personalities vary. If you have a unique interest, it adds excitement to your life, where you can introduce each other to different activities the other might not have tried.
For instance, if you are a person who used to go to football matches but your partner hasn’t experienced it would now will get a chance to go and see a match.
Habits
When you are with similar characteristics as your partner, you find shared habits to become common and you will be watching yourself act out the same old activities and day-to-day routines.
But when you find an opposite person with unusual habits you will find it less frustrating to find him/her functioning their daily activities differently, creating an attraction and helping you to develop a sense of love for that person.
Do opposites attract?
First, it is important to break down what being attracted to our opposite really means. You might think that you have zero in common but in reality, you probably have more in common than you think.
So it is found that most people are not attracted to opposites even though it may seem that way.
A study published in the journal Psychological Science analyzed the digital footprints of Facebook of people. They found that most people interact with others who are pretty similar to them. Another study that surveyed the values, personality traits, and attitudes, of couples and friends, found that these people had 86% similarity in all factors.
You and your partner can be super different when it comes to the kind of food you eat, the taste of music, the clothes you wear, and the movies you watch. But in reality, despite all those opposite traits you are probably more alike than you realize.
Difference between opposite needs and opposite wants
There are differences between common wants and common needs. When it comes to long-term relationships, it is required to have common needs including religious beliefs, having kids, and wanting to travel.
If you are looking for a long-term partner, it is crucial for your needs to be common. Having separate interests and wants is actually healthy in a relationship and it will help each other keep their individual sense of self. For example, if your partner is not doing yoga and you are a person who will be so much involved. So in this case your partner can be the opposite but still be successful as a couple because they just “want”.
But when you find your needs to be different it will not actually work between you.
Thanks for reading my article. To read more on relationships, love, mental health, and life lessons you can follow my writings.
