An Argument Against Art

Dear colleagues, former classmates, current classmates, future classmates, and crushes—

As we sit in Espwesso writing this piece—Yerba Mates in tow—we notice something covering the walls of Espwesso, the room in which we are currently writing this piece. And, no, it’s not paint. It’s something much more insidious: paintings.

Yes, Wesleyan students, we are implicating you.

Art is being normalized, institutionalized, glamorized, romanticized, glorified, and memorialized at Wesleyan; and if we may speak candidly, we are NOT here for it. Why, may you ask, are two artistic students such as ourselves so adamantly anti-art? Well, the proof lies in the pudding—the pudding being our humble but correct opinions. We find art to be for the feeble-minded, weak-willed, sexually-deviant upper middle class. Yes, Wesleyan students, we are implicating you.

We’ll tell you a little story. The story is about Art House, a program house dedicated to the detestable art form of Art within Wesleyan University’s residential college. Last night, we were at Art House—the afformentioned program house. Upon entering, we were greeted by the twinned smells of tobacco and marijuana—the most detestable smells of the current generation of which we are staunch members. Despite our distaste, we braved the crowd of smelly individuals. To our disbelief, we witnessed members of our community with beanies and Juuls in tow. They were wearing beanies and smoking from their Juuls—the cool cucumber pods, to be precise. This is NOT art. But if it were, we’d still find it deplorable.

Despite everyone claiming to be an “individual”, we could not discern one eye brow piercing from another. Theretofore, Art House serves to foster sheep-like behavior within the community at large. Art House is predicated on the notion that people enjoy art, yet it has introduced to this community an aesthetic of universal sameness. One-word instagram captions, zoomed-in selfies in the CFA bathrooms, and satirical usage of emojis—you guessed it, these behaviors are typical of the artistic enclave within the community at large.

Quite simply put, “art” is dangerous and irresponsible.

One might ask, how would we ourselves define art as it is lived artistically in the art community consisting of artists within this very community of artistic personalities? We’d venture to offer a revolutionary concept—art does not exist. Art does not live around us. Art is NOT political. Quite simply put, “art” is dangerous and irresponsible.

In conclusion, let us offer you some solutions. Michael Roth, we implore you to ban all forms of art and other such art forms on this campus by implementing legislations that strictly prohibits the enactment of art and other such art forms on this campus. At the end of the day, the normalization of art has created a chasm between the artistic and non-artistic sectors. We are under attack as anti-art activists, and at the end of the day, we are embroiled in a deadly game—kill or be killed. Yes, art must be killed. And no, you will not catch us taking charcoal to rice paper, pasting text to page, or releasing mixes on Soundcloud.

It’s time for everyone to take a look in the mirror. We know ourselves and our values. Do you know yours?

Thank you for your time and labor. Happy Sunday!


Two concerned students of the highest moral standing