Letters to my Sister in Japan — Day 85

Dear Sister,

Earlier today I deleted social media apps from my phone. I’m re-entering another phase of refusing to remain connected all the time. I still check my accounts, on a browser, at any opportunity that presents itself (see: idle moments) but I feel like that’s part of the process of recognizing this detrimental habit and taking a baby step towards fixing it.

I don’t think social media is bad. Au contraire, I think it serves a very important function in modern society, and many folks benefit from staying connected with friends, loved ones, and fans. I simply think I took communicating with people online to its unhealthiest limits, and it’s been affecting me negatively at times. So, in breaking up with Facebook and Twitter I simply have to remind them that it’s not them, it’s me.

I think I wrote about this 82 or 83 days ago, but from February to March of this year, I was incredibly anxious and paranoid, and I took a long break from the outside world. I thought I would feel better by the time April and May rolled around, but slowly, the anxiety has been creeping in again. I wish I could get to the bottom of it all, but I’m starting to convince myself that every ounce of paranoia and every drop of bad juju is merely the human condition, reminding me that I’m meant to suffer.

I will try to lighten up in the following days and I’ll also try to reach you too. I have a festival, my out-of-country trip, and many other goodies coming up (as well as baddies). It should be easy to remain hopeful.

Love,

Your Little Brother

)

Marco Salazar De Leon

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Professional dilettante.

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