I can’t visit a news site, Twitter feed or have a meal without “Trump” crashing the party. This reality show consumes all available air in the room. Articles and think pieces contain enough proclamations and firings, declarations and resignations, conspiracy theories and fake news to make a list enormous enough to depress a jolly fat man in a red hat.
Rather than add another think piece predicting what no one can predict, the goal here is to take a lesson from Billy Joel and chronicle the past two years in song form.
In 1989, Billy Joel wrote the mega hit “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” proving to himself and his friend Sean Lennon that any time in history is filled with extremes. Starting in 1949 (Joel’s birth year), he burned through major events in his life through names, places and notable rhymes. It was utilized by teachers as a teaching moment, educating students on the stories behind the keywords. Listen to the original here.
I offer the alternate lyrics below dedicated to our current era. I’ve bolded lyrics as applicable today as originally written in 1989. Here is a karaoke instrumental version.
Bernie Sanders, Big League, Alt-facts, Believe Me
Emails missing, Russian hacking, locker room talk
Biden fighting, Cynthia Nixon, Scaramucci, television
North Korea, South Korea, Tillerson walks
Kelly Ann, Hope Hicks, Mar-a-logo, poll tricks
Meryl Streep, the failing Times, Bill O’Reilly, Palestine
Fox and Friends, vaccine, England’s got the same queen
Too much winning, Hannity, Rocket Man is on the line
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight it
Tax returns, Huckabee, escalator, Only me
Regulations, Omarosa, primary shock
Roy Cohn, Roger Stone, Jared Kushner on his own,
Parkland, Alex Jones, Facebook’s on the clock
Bill Maher, prompter on, everyone’s a moron,
Best words, travel ban, Stormy Daniels, Little Hands
Bing-Bong, party drones, Alabama, Doug Jones
Kapaernick, Pence pick, Birtherism, body slam
N-D-A, Jersey Shore, Harvey Weinstein, no more
#MeToo, Spicer goes, Bob Mueller, Comey knows
Weak, Tough, Free Trade, California, Lemonade
Steve Bannon, homicide, Puerto Rico under tide
Tiki torches, Hope Hicks, Space Force, bigger stick
Morning Joe, Fox News, Hillary has the blues
Clean coal, S-N-L, Trump U, Gorsich sell
Pocahontas, Marco, Colbert and his Late Show
WikiLeaks, fake news, marijuana cures the blues
Dark posts, Doctor Ben, Mexican invasion
Jimmy Kimmel lecturing; British Brexit-mania
Lawsuits, wedding cakes, Billy Bush, Jeff Flake
Baldwin, legal text, U.S. politicians sex
Teenage kids — blown away — what else do I have to say?
Christmas war, Michael Flynn, Make America Great Again
Bump Stock, certain charts, Pizzagate, Huge, Smart,
Not a puppet, Palantir, Oval Office, out of here
Youth are rising, N-R-A, stupid, loser, D-N-A
Moron, Oscars, Drain the Swamp, K-Street-meetings, toxic dump
Manafort, Putin threats, nerve gas, rocket tests
Black Lives Matter, Build the Wall, Opioids may take us all
Red Hat, Donald, Twitter wars, I can’t take it anymore
Have a great day.