“You Don’t Seem Autistic”

Now that most people I talk to have heard of Asperger’s Syndrome or High Functioning Autism/ASD, I often hear some variant of the above sentence. Maybe in future I’ll tell them about my spontaneous utterances to stand-up comedians — especially with those damned rhetorical questions I know I should leave alone — or my brain’s wondrous ability to completely misinterpret something said to my face on occasion, filling in the gaps with the least plausible conclusions based merely on what it sounded like irrespective of any context. Maybe I’ll tell them about the time my curiosity prompted me to ask a colleague if he’d ever administered CPR while in the Royal Marines, followed by the question: “Did it work?”

Then there’s the ongoing angst from dwelling on the knowledge that I’d probably excel with a rigid routine, but currently my only pattern on weekday mornings is chaos. At least I’ve resigned myself to accepting the importance of a decent night’s sleep, even if I subject myself to the occasional relapse.

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