I think I’ve found a sense of solace
2016 has sure been a short, yet transformative year. In these short five months, I have learned about myself more than I have ever. But now, I’m glad I can finally be at peace with myself.
- I no longer will allow others to take advantage of me anymore. All my life has revolved around other people, but I am finally happy to say that I do not mind being a bit selfish. I do not mind thinking about my feelings, my mental and physical health, my body.
- Your feelings towards me does not mean I have to reciprocate it. Frankly, I can say that I do not need to care. And know what? That’s damn all right to me. Time is ever so temporary and if I waver for a second, I am going to miss out on the wild, beautiful things in front of me.
- If I believe I did the right thing, then I did the right thing. Although the decisions I make may not have been the best or actually deemed to be normal, if the pieces fit together for me to set my mind to it, then I will go for it.
- I cannot love. I have been hurt so damn much in my life that forcing my feelings for something just seems artificial. And when I go out and seek something that I know is not there, I know it is all in vain. But, I still do it.
- I am a radical extremist. I have major viewpoints towards anything that has options. I do not believe in indifference nor do I believe in being neutral.
- I care a whole lot… and that’s okay. It is okay for me to give my heart all out into one person, one sport, one anything. But — it is also okay for me to cut it all off in a moment’s notice. I do not have to share the feelings that I barely have if I do not choose to.
Life is a damn choice, life is for the living. I am going to live it with my ever-changing, paradoxical ideals and values.