Addicted to problems
Two years ago I’ve started a therapy process. Every week I went to my therapist office trying to understand and solve some of my many existential problems.
After four or five months visiting his office, many of my small existential problems were gone.
Yep. Dealing with subjects like career, kids, family or relationships began not to be a big deal anymore. Just thinking a little about some crucial issues related to these subjects automatically made them small problems.
One day, a friend of mine asked me to go out with her. I took a shower, put on a nice shirt, a pair of jeans and a good pair of shoes and walked to meet her downtown.
I have always preferred to go everywhere on foot and it was a nice night in Curitiba. The weather was perfect: not so warm, not so cold. We went to a bar with a lot of interesting and funny people and I spent about three hours there talking about almost everything.
It was around 11 pm when I said goodbye to everyone and went back to my apartment. I lived 10 blocks away and walking back home was just as pleasing as going out. In fifteen minutes I was in front of my building reaching for the keys in my pocket.
Thirtheen floors up I entered my apartment, took a good look at it and realized that I didn’t have any kind of problems to worry about. To my surprise, my mind started searching for something to complain about and it felt sad when it was not easy to find anything.
Suddenly I started thinking rationally about this kind of behavior: the addiction to live a life searching for something wrong.
Prior to the process of therapy I lived a life always searching for a smudge in a tablecloth and perhaps (or certainly) this was the cause of all the problems I had.
Living a life searching for problems to fix made me living a life creating problems to solve even when I didn’t have any.
Are you addicted to problems?