by Hannah Lupton

2 Easy Ways to Tell You Have a Good Woman for the Long Haul

To know how to begin a dating relationship is one thing, but to stay in a healthy relationship is another thing entirely. By today’s standards, I think my 10-month relationship is a decent achievement. It’s obviously not the longest, but to me, it’s a badge of honor in a world of one night stands and awkward hang outs with no emotional commitment ever being verbalized. By no means are we perfect, and to be frank, my girlfriend offers a lot — if not the majority — of the strength we have built together in the relationship. Here are two simple reasons why I love her tremendously and why we have stayed together for a good run.

She’s Humble

If you don’t know me, I say this with the utmost self-respect: I can be a huge dick sometimes. My temperament keeps me in a well controlled grip of most situations, quickly adjusting my life to my needs and desires at the drop of a hat. However, tight squeeze I use to grab life by the throat doesn’t always help me to play nice with others. This is especially true in a relationship, as I would to always do things “my way.” Humility works wonders in relationships for this reason. The good rule of fact is that the first person to offer a listening ear, a heart of empathy, and a hand of service holds the power of adding the most value if she knows how to use those gifts to serve another person in any given situation, and my girlfriend does this exceptionally well. She listens to my pain, anger, frustration, and sadness with an incredible amount of patience and understanding. At virtually every moment, my displeasure becomes the focus of her attention to eradicate any barrier separating us, even if the barrier is my own attitude, mentality, or my unfair expectations I have placed on her. For this reason, she’s a powerhouse in maintaining a positive connection in our relationship, and a long lasting one at that.

She’s Tenacious

When shit hits the fan, humility works great, but what acts as a hard hitting 1–2 knock-out combination is straight up hard-nosed grit and tenacity. When it comes to dating, there’s a million reasons, voices, emotions, and even people that can separate you and your partner. Some of those reasons could make the disconnect that was created permanent. But a great partner in times of struggle doesn’t break down and run for the hills. They put on some war paint, grab their helmet and gun, and go to work to annihilate everything and anything that can stand between you two. Keeping the objective clear that the real goal is to love one another and that the enemy is anything that comes against that love is a sure fire way to build trust through reliability helping to stabilize your connection. To be in the middle of a storm and have the person next to you look you in the eye knowing that whether the problem is you, herself, or any external force and she is going to figure it out and deal with brings a mountain of peace in a chaotic storm. A woman that can be steady and solid ground is a woman you build a home with that can last what appears to be a lifetime.

Bonus tip: having a girl who makes you forget how you look to have fun helps a lot too, especially if you take life too seriously.