A Woman Gaining Trust

Your ability to trust a man is not a checklist you can pull out and measure him up against. Trust is built and created on the exposure and filling of needs along with the sharing of similar values. Trust is vulnerably exposing yourself to another and that person choosing to protect and nurture that vulnerability instead of breaking your heart. It’s recognizing that you have the same beliefs and convictions and are willing to protect those values together in each other’s lives.

Trust is relative.

Trust can’t be a template that you lay over top of your man. Why? Because what works for you won’t work for other women. Do you hate gifts because the idea of surprises stresses you out? Well, other women may melt at the sight of flowers and chocolates. It’s all different. Of course, there are basic levels of trust: knowing that he won’t murder you in your sleep, burn your house down, or sleep with your sister (hopefully…), but really building trust that lets you breathe easy is customary and tailor made for you alone.

Trust is not about what he does for you as much as it is about you knowing what makes you feel safe and secure.

You have to know yourself. What do you love? What makes you feel chosen? What helps you know you’re significant to others? Is it playing with the hair? Is it him doing chores? Is it being told how beautiful you are? Whatever it is, if you’re looking to move beyond basic bitch relationships and into being his one and only, your decisions are going to matter as much, if not more, than his because you have to remain fully present in the relationship. It’s not about conforming or giving in to make him stay. You’re worth being chosen for who you are, not what you give up for him.

You have to know what you’re willing to put up with, what you enjoy doing in your spare time, what fun means to you, what you hate, what annoys you, what drives you mad with frustration, and what drives you mad in love. What I’m saying is

You have to know you if he’s going to love you.

And when that’s solid, he has the opportunity to choose you because who you are isn’t going anywhere. You’re confident, you’re content, you’re sexy, and you’re fierce all by yourself. And you don’t need a man to make that true, but it doesn’t hurt to have someone tell you those things either. Stand by your convictions, don’t back down, and know your worth. Confidence is attractive and all men want a woman out of their league. That’s how you play this game like a pro. 😎

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