Being true to ourselves.

Almost two years I have not meet up with my friend, just so happen when I was at my parents house, he was back in town too. Even though we have not seen each other for so long, but it didn't feel that long once we started talking and discussed about our life because we are best buds!

One conversation really got me thinking about us as human beings. He asked me “Do you think people will change? Like totally become another person?” I thought for a while and said, “Maybe”

In my opinion, people do not change entirely, deep down inside we are still who we are. The only thing that changes is as we grow older, we gained experiences and learnt a few lessons from here and there. We become more adaptable. When we talk about personality, I don’t think that will change much. “We are who we are”, that is the phrase that we always hear. So, what happened when we meet someone that we have not seen for so long, and realized that our friend is acting differently and is not the same person that we know from last time.

Yesterday I heard someone said “We as humans, have many faces and this is how humanity works.”

People behave differently when faced with different situations. From experience, we know we have to behave in such a way so that it is deemed acceptable for most of the people. We hide our true self. If this is the case, only true friends and family will see the real us. Because, we are comfortable with them and they will never judge us.

There is a gap between who we really are and the one we portray ourselves to the world. Why do we do that? Most likely is because we want to be accepted. We want validation from other people and that validation makes us feel powerful. We will feel reassured then we feel good about ourselves and that will in turn boost our self-esteem. In order to achieve that, we make decision based on what will make us feel validated, and that drives us to somehow make a decision based on how other people think about us and indirectly we change how we act.

How long can we keep doing this?

There’s always a limit where we just can’t cope with the different versions of ourselves that we have built.

We need to understand validation comes in the form of acknowledgement, not agreement. We need to stop worrying whether others agree with us or not and start supporting each other and acknowledge the differences between us so that this world will be a much more interesting place. Imagine if everyone start to act in the same way, wouldn’t it be worse than a world without colors.

Why fit in when we are born to stand out.

We can have different version of ourselves if each version are designed to complement each other and result in a better YOU and not to try hide your true self.