Ogres Have Layers

One of my favorite lines from the movie, Shrek, is the famous “Ogre’s are like onions. Onions have layers. Ogre’s have layers!” In this scene, Shrek shows Donkey that he is more than a big green ogre. He explains that while he’s a scary monster, there is so much more to him than being an ogre. Although I am not an ogre, all of my life, people have put me into a box and told me that I can only be one thing. Once I start to develop an interest in something else, I’m seen as flawed, chaotic, and childish.

The problem I find with explaining who I am to others is that as soon as I do, I seem to change and reinvent myself. I am an extremely eclectic person. I’ve fallen in love with the world, and here are a few reasons why: I was a musician for a while, teaching and playing guitar, ukulele, and piano. I was an artist for a bit, drawing and painting, selling my pieces to stores and small museums. I was a runner, competing in the state championship race for cross country. I was a social activist, forming and protesting against Party City and conflict mining, as well as attending many LGBT rights rallies. I traveled to six continents in the past five years of my life, taking pictures of all of the wonderful places I visited and getting paid to do so. I was a writer, writing short stories and poems, eventually getting two poems published in a magazine.

I tried all of these things in an attempt to find out who I am. I learned that there are so many things that I love doing, but people don’t see it that way. Everyone wants to label me as an art kid, or a music kid, or a runner, or just some liberal gay. Of course that is all true, but I get frustrated when people refuse to see me as a growing, changing human, and decide that I must be defined to fit into their version of who I should be.

All of the things that I’ve done have helped shape who I am right now, but my past is definitely not all that defines me. People see me as a lost teenager trying to find my way through the world. I’m a goofball and very open about my flaws. Most people do not understand that my flawed, chaotic, and goofy behavior is more indicative of who I am than any photograph, race, painting, song, or poem that I’ve ever made. Although I’m not seen as an ogre, I understand how Shrek feels — constantly misjudged, and I am ogre it. (over it)