Too Many Failures in My Life. Time to Change.

This past year has been a defining year in my life. I've never been much for quotes, but this quote has driven me to make significant changes in my perspective, my attitude, and my daily decisions:

"Each person has invented him or herself, through whatever he or she has lived through, through vision, dreams, experiences and circumstances. Figure out who you want to be, and what you want in life, and use your drive, hunger and ambition to overcome your obstacles."

That quote comes from an article about a guy that spent a couple years in prison (http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/252914). I haven't been to prison yet (hey, you never know what life will bring). But I feel I have figuratively been in a prison. I have spent the past 10 years taking care of #1. Saving. Earning. Learning. Looking for the next opportunity to make $millions and get on the cover of Forbes.

That’s the American Dream right?

Get a bigger house. Get a nicer car. Go on exotic vacations. Take lots of selfies to let your social friends know your life is better than theirs. **

It sounded good to me. So I bought the sales pitch, added in the additional upsells, grabbed a couple vacation flyers on the way out, and moved forward with those grand aspirations.

I downloaded real estate apps on my phone and checked for newer, bigger listings every day to motivate me. I put pictures of fast cars on my wall to motivate me. I downloaded hundreds of beautiful computer wallpapers to motivate me. I religiously read every entrepreneur book on Amazon. I listened to over 20 podcasts a week. I followed eccentric social media stars to motivate me.

And I’ve done pretty well. I step back and look at my life and I have a lot to be proud of. A great family. A nice home. A couple cars with minimal issues (yes, I knocked on my desk… does composite wood material count?) Pictures with my family on beautiful beaches around the world. A couple college degrees. Minimal debt. No serious health issues. No life-changing events.

So I’m just having a mid-life crisis, right?

**fineprint disclaimer**

Let me be clear: I’m not passing judgement on anyone with the desire to have a bigger house, a better car, or go on nice vacations. I still like those things. I believe that’s more than the American dream — it’s a natural human desire to progress, to do more, to have more. We have families to take care of. And it’s everyone’s God-given prerogative to determine what is sufficient for their needs and desires.

Then I read Give and Take by Adam Grant (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0143124986). The world has givers and takers. I've been much more of a taker to this point in my life.

Then I read Pencils of Promise (http://www.amazon.com/dp/1476730636). That dude builds schools and provides education to underprivileged children around the world.

Then I read Blake Mycoskie’s book (http://www.amazon.com/dp/0812981448). He started TOMS shoes which provides shoes to people without proper footwear. He loves life, makes lots of money, and helps millions of people.

Then I read hundreds more stories, blogs, and posts from amazing people that are taking on the world 1 day at a time. 1 widget at a time. 1 dollar at a time. 1 person at a time.

How can One person really make a difference?

It sounds so good to help people. You feel good, they feel good, it’s what a human family should do.

But it seems so hard. There are billions of people in the world. Each person has hundreds or thousands of wants and needs. There are just too many hurdles in the way to get something done.

Blake Mycoskie, founder of TOMS shoes and pioneer in the “one for one” model, says:

Whoever you are and whatever you do, giving is important. Start now. Start by helping other people — anyone you can. Do something simple. You don’t have to start a business or big initiative right away — you can begin just by changing your mindset. Commit to seeing the world through the lens of how you can initiate meaningful change.

That sounded pretty good. So I changed my mindset. And you know what? I now see every homeless person on the street. I see every Food Bank truck rolling past on the highway. I hear every philanthropic story on the TV in the background and turn to pay attention. I read different blogs now. I follow different causes. I donated more of my time, money, and energy this past year to worthwhile causes than the previous 9 years.

Welcome to the new me.

I’ve generally been a pretty closed person. I thought that was strong. It’s not macho to put yourself out there for criticism. And I don’t cry, like ever. But I’ve realized that I can’t improve without help. And by putting on an iron suit of 100% confidence, I am closing lines of communication where I could have gained valuable insight and feedback.

I’m using my 1st Amendment right to publicly state my thoughts and opinions here in this article (and in future episodes of ranting and raving). By putting my thoughts on the internet in front of other people, it encourages me to think through those thoughts and get feedback from others.

Someone wise told me that your greatest strength is your greatest weakness. Sounds like something a boring philosophy professor would teach, and I’m pretty sure it’s a misquote from an original quote from someone smart. But I dig it.

I’m an open book.

I believe my greatest strength is my openness, my transparency. I’m an open book. You know how I feel or what I think if you just take a minute to speak to me. I don’t have a hidden agenda. I don’t sugar coat things. I don’t believe in wasting time with frivolous gossip or guessing games. If you want my opinion, you’ll get it. If I don’t have an opinion I’ll let you know. I’m not a know-it-all, you just know more of my opinions than most people because I share them all.

I’m not here to offend people. I do my best to be considerate and to take other opinions and viewpoints into consideration. But I generally say what I want, when I want, where I want. And that means not everything is completely thought out. But nothing gets done if I keep those thoughts hibernating and losing steam in my mind.

Are you awesome? I want to meet you.

I’ve always had an addiction for learning. For improving my skills. For discovering new talents. For seeing success in life.

But until this point, I’ve generally focused all that energy on myself and improving my own life. I’ve got a pretty awesome life so it’s time for me to shift some of my focus to helping others. I can get things started by myself, but I need help.

I’m now seeking new opportunities that make the world a better place. Nonprofits. Charities. Or businesses with a purpose beyond growing a bank account. Please contact me or put me in touch with your neighbor’s friend’s cousin’s uncle. I respond to every inquiry.

I watched a documentary on Southwest Airlines. Their founder Herb Kelleher explained that he liked to fly around the country on his flights and sit next to complete strangers. Because that gave him an opportunity to learn something new.

I, too, believe everyone has something unique and interesting they can teach you. So hit me up. Lucky for me I have a pretty unique name, which means I’m @marcuswickes on every social site, blog, or discussion forum.