I understand what you went through. I mean the feeling is like no other. You get an idea. It won’t go away. It clings to you like darkness clings to night. You play with it in your mind. It begins to grow and the thought that this could really happen starts to take shape. You get an almost sick kind of pleasure from the idea. It stimulates you in ways no one or thing can. It feeds your hunger to create.
The idea grows and the only thing you can do to keep it alive is to bring it to reality. You are driven to do so because you don’t want to lose the creative high. You can’t. Life without that high seems impossible, unlivable. So you begin to develop a plan for transitioning your passion, your idea, to reality.
It’s almost sad when this happens because then you have to share it. I get it. Then it’s out there. What you have loved, and has loved you back, is now out there for critique, and exposed to the real possibility of death. Creative death. You want to keep it alive, because in your head it has no where to grow, so you take those first steps to make your dream a reality.
Creative high’s are quickly extinguished by the reality of persistence, dedication and hard work. It doesn’t matter what realm of life you are seeking to succeed in. To succeed and accomplish things we must be persistent, dedicate ourselves to the task ahead and work hard. I think that’s where you struggled. The dream, the idea, was different in reality and no longer provided the stimulation your creative genius desired.
I love you for trying. I never saw fear in your eyes, in your heart or in your actions. You were a dreamer and a doer. I think where you struggled, dad, was your ability to transition the idea, the passion, to reality. I think it was the doldrum of work that you struggled with and that prevented you from accomplishing your dreams.
Your life is an inspiration to me. I can think of no better. You taught me that if I am to transition my ideas, my creativity to a successful reality then I need to be ready when I come off the creative high and hit bottom. It’s then I am going to face the fact that the high will come back, after I have given my dream, my passion, my ideas, the dedication, persistence and hard work they deserve.
I am going to do this for me, and for you. You were and are my hero. In my head, and somewhere in my little girl’s heart, I can hear my daddy telling me, Marcy, there are always possibilities. Always! Dream big, and live a creative life. Ok dad, here we go.