The Tin Man: Rising to the Next Level, in Anything.

I guess I first noticed it when I left a job I had for seven years. I simply started telling people that my husband and I had new life goals. In order to achieve those goals I needed to leave that job, and start a career transition that would put me on a path to earn more money, and gain transferrable skills. Simple.

It wasn’t simple. A lot had happened in my life to get me to the point to say, okay, I need to step down leading this nonprofit and start all over again. I need to prepare for a future that is uncertain to me, and leave everything that I love and am passionate about. Not simple.

I didn’t expect anyone to be overly supportive, but I also didn’t expect them to react the way they did.

Well, I would help my husband, but I am really involved in the community. What?

Maybe you should substitute teach. I did that once to help. Well, I am going to go back and get my Master’s and move up the corporate ladder. Oh.

Why do you want to do that?

Won’t you have to drive farther?

Well, I thought, it’s just those people.

Fear

I recently left my first career transition job. It was an entry level job and helped me transition from nonprofit leader to bottom of the rung follower. Before I left I met with a co-worker to show her how to do some of my work she would be taking over. She asked the usual questions.

Where are you going? Oh. I applied at places like that, once.
Are you going to school as well? Yes. I thought about going back to school, once.

This woman did try once, and good for her, but what has kept her in a dead end job with little paid time off, getting treated as a second class employee, and no opportunity. Fear.

She got enough courage to try once, but when that didn’t work she settled. She has convinced herself she is where she should be even though the evidence doesn’t support it. She is quick to defend her decision because she is so fearful of looking at the truth.

I left, and she looked down with sheepish eyes. Good luck.

Jealous

Most of us look up to someone and think, wow, if only I could do that. The challenge becomes is if we stay there, and do nothing about it. We get jealous, but don’t use that emotion as a motivator for change.

It’s often hard to detect jealous people. They can be so vindictive and harsh. They want to be like you or do what you do, and they lash out in anger because you have the courage to try.

Jealous people can bring you the greatest condemnation. They want to be like you so much that and as their jealous feelings well up they turn and out comes harsh comments. The greater the condemnation the more jealous they are.

Intimidation

When I walk in the room she notices. She thought I was going to be in her group at work. I am not. She thought she could train me to be on her side, but I am on no ones side. She is worried. Constantly wanting to know what I am doing. I caught her looking at my desk, listening to my phone calls, and trying to check out my emails. I intimidate her.

I am a leader even when I am on the bottom rung.
I am extremely goal driven. I am already figuring out how to get to the next level.
I am a person of depth and make decisions based off insight, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. Not others.
I contribute. Whether you roll your eyes at me or not.
I have ideas. A lot of ideas.
I signify change. How can we do this better?
I have spent my entire life studying and learning, and developing presence when I walk in a room.
My decisions are not based on what others do.

Is this intimidating?
Perhaps. If you are fearful and jealous.
If your depth is based on the crowd around you, and not a foundation all your own.

My life is nothing to be jealous of.
I want mine to be so much more, and it will be.
I want it for reasons that have nothing to do with you.

The truth is we often have only one or two, or maybe no one we can share our drive to achieve with. No one who supports our goals. No one who can go with us as we face our own fears.

It’s okay. We don’t need them. They aren’t coming with us anyway. We can respect and help them, but we don’t need to change because of them.

People ask us to compromise everyday. In small ways. Don’t. If I had I would never have left that nonprofit, went back to school to get my Master’s, and embarked on a journey of change.

I am often scared and fearful.
I am often jealous.
I am not intimated.
I am going to do this, and you can too!

Let’s go.

Marcy Pedersen