I’m unlearning everything I know about online marketing

Why I’m quitting the online copywriting scene.

Dear humans, today marks my official exit from copywriting. In fact, “online marketing” in general.

I’ve pulled off all services on my page. I’ve revamped my ‘About page.’ I’ve declined copy requests. And I’m loving it!

A while ago in April/May, I got an invitation to an online summit. I was looking over the questions and my heart literally skipped a beat when I got to the question asking “…your story and why we should listen to you.”

It was at that moment I realized I’ve been living a lie.

I write fine copy. But I’m not a copywriter. It’s neither my calling nor great work. And I’m leaving it in search of true purpose.

This a-ha moment led to the discovery of these 3 things.

1) I’d been low-key sabotaging my own success.

I have invested over 10.000 dollars in online courses, coaching, and self-improvement at this point. I understand the importance of having resilience, cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset, and building a business organically. I understand the whole strategy behind launches and sales funnels.
 
But…I am honestly tired of webinars, email lists, lead generation, lead magnets, and all that jazz. I don’t find anything new or groundbreaking anymore. Everyone is saying the same thing…only with a little bit of personal flavor. And that’s not totally wrong.
 
The problem is that on a spiritual and emotional level, I checked out of online marketing a long time ago. I don’t want to celebrate my latest “win.” I don’t want to see your blueprint and how I can replicate your success(es).

So, even though I was participating in live Q&A calls and buying courses, my mindset was so limited that I imposed barriers for myself. As a result, I never got the results those courses promised, making me resentful of those who did.

2) An artist or an entrepreneur? A dilemma for my soul.

I thought about the books I want to become known for. They are vastly different from the ones I’m reading. I looked through the bestseller sections in business and marketing. I don’t envision my name being mentioned among those authors.

I thought about the people I admire in the online industry: Caroline Kelso Zook, Jen Carrington, Jeff Goins, Paul Jarvis, Regina Anaejionu…. compared the list to the number of “gurus” I let into my inbox. 
 
And I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not the kind of entrepreneur I’ve been trying to brand myself as. I’m more of an artist and no longer ashamed of calling myself that or hiding behind online marketing labels. I want to write memoirs, draw my memories, make fun of my nursing career — talk about poop and shit. I want to write stories that build bridges between the different parts of who we are.
 
Note: Branding oneself to be different (writer vs business writer) is a totally different thing. What I’m trying to say is that I somehow shied away from embracing the creative writer in me and took on a different role/title…which affected how I showed up to subscribers on my email list and the world at large.
 
There’s nothing sadder than trying to repress who you really are into a label created by people who know nothing about your vision in life.

3) Resistance a la everything.

I just didn’t feel it. It wasn’t fear of visibility or success…it was more. I couldn’t call myself a copywriter because deep down I wasn’t — and I didn’t believe it either!

But…

The very moment I felt that I might be over this online marketing thing was when I started getting more than 5 hours of sleep every day. My insomnia improved drastically that I wondered if I’ve been sleeping way too much, lol! No more anxiety attacks or what felt like anxiety (for those who feel I’m calling into existence things that aren’t).
 
Before, everything I did was a struggle. My creative voice was muffled. I didn’t find joy in the little things I did. I lost confidence in my creative work and felt calling myself an entrepreneur was too much.
 
Here’s the thing: creative work loves identity. When this identity is eroded, you start to sound like every other guru on the internet. Inwardly, I detested this, and because I was starting to sound like the “top” gurus I was listening to, I felt an intense resistance against getting to work.
 
These are just the main reasons for quitting. They don’t scratch the surface of what I think was wrong with me OR what I should’ve been focusing on.

*steps on preacher’s box for a moment*

Listen, no amount of coaching, courses, or narrative can make you into something you’re NOT, something you do NOT believe in.

Experiencing a money block? Sometimes you are your own money block.

Over to you. Be honest with yourself:

  • What are you doing right now that you know you shouldn’t be doing
  • What are you investing your time and effort in that you know is a complete waste of your time?

The answers to these questions seem to lurk right behind our throats. But the real answers live down inside us, right under those layers of comfort we’ve created for ourselves.