What I wish I could tell my 16 year old self
Sometimes life is unfair, hell, most times life is unfair. But, the times that suck are the main reason the great times are so great.
You’re going to fall for the boy who doesn’t know you exist.
You’re going to crush on the cute boy from physics or the MVP of the basketball team. You’re going to get your chance with both of them, but let me tell you this: they won’t be worth it. The way they finally notice you, they’ll finally notice another girl pining over them and you’ll be yesterday’s news. This doesn’t make you ugly or stupid or any less worthy of love. You’re a wildfire and these boys haven’t figured out how to dance with your flames.
You’ll get your heart broken.
Over and over and over again. When you’re older, you’ll fall for the boy with the beautiful green eyes whose hands shake when he first speaks to you. You’ll love him for years and then you’ll have to let him go. Not because you want to, but because you grew apart and he fell in love with the blonde girl who shares his interests. The funny thing about heartbreak is that you’ll willingly fall for so many different people. You’ll fall for the strong, handsome brown-eyed boy who you thought you’d never have a shot with. You’ll let him in like you’ve never been hurt before and he won’t be any different than the first boy. These boys are not out of your league, baby girl. Trust me, you’re out of theirs.
You’re going to think that the group of girls you‘re friends with now are forever.
Unfortunately, these girls will be acquaintances in a few years. It will be a hard pill to swallow, but you’ll learn that you were only friends with them out of convenience; same classes, same schedule, same sports, same neighborhood, nothing else in common. The reality is that we only get a handful of good friends…most of which you won’t meet until you are MUCH older. When you find that handful of good friends, you’ll stay out until 5 AM laughing and singing and gossiping and flirting with boys you’ll never want to speak with again. They are your soulmates.
You are going to feel alone.
You’re going to feel like no one understands what you’re going through. You’re not going to want to tell anyone about your struggles. You’ll think your mom or friends won’t understand, but they will. You don’t have to be sad all alone, sweet girl. So many people in this world are feeling what you’re feeling, someone will understand. Don’t isolate yourself. Don’t think about ending your life. You have a purpose and you belong on this planet as much as anyone else. You are someone’s light. You have so much to offer and this is only the beginning.
You’re different and different doesn’t mean weird.
You’re a triangle in a world full of circles. You won’t fit their mold right now, but as you get older, you’ll become friends with a bunch of guys who share the same interests as you. You’ll be friends with the “weirdos” and they’ll become lifelong friends of yours. You will find the people who vibe with you and who make you a better version of yourself. Wait for it, it’s life-changing.
People will be mean to you.
But, without knowing it, you’ll be mean to people too. Don’t shun one girl out of the group. Doing it because “everyone else is” isn’t a good enough reason. Girls will talk about you behind your back. They’ll say you’re snobby, you’re a liar, you’re trying to get with their boyfriend…the boy you’ve never even spoken to. Boys will play with your head. On Valentine’s Day, you’ll get fake roses that say they are from the boy you’re head over heels for, but they’ll really be from one of his dumb friends. This joke will get old very quickly…and that kid will probably end up being a SoundCloud rapper. That’s his own punishment.
Being smart is your superpower.
Don’t dumb yourself down to seem more attractive to the loser boys in your grade. Keep reading. Keep writing. Keep playing music. Get 100s on your tests and As on your papers. Not only is it amazing to get a scholarship to college, but not having to pay loans as an adult will be such a relief. Work hard, but don’t overdo it. You’ll graduate with honors and go to college and get your Master’s. You’ll land your dream job and find something you’re amazing at. You’ll go on a job interview and they’ll tell you how impressed they are with your knowledge and commitment to your craft. You might even write an article about a boy that goes viral and gets featured…who knows.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
I know you hate the way you laugh and you hate the way your hair looks 90% of the time. I know that you want to wear the designer clothes like all the other girls. I know that you don’t ever want to look like you don’t know what you’re doing. I know that you think you have a reputation to keep up, but you don’t. Life is no fun when you’re stuck trying to fit into a crowd that you don’t fit with. Laugh really loudly, be absolutely ridiculous. Wear the socks with the cats on them or the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt. Put your hair in an obscene bun and leave the house. When people comment on your bun, just shake it at them. One day, you’ll be at a bar with your best friend and you’ll be dancing around like a couple of idiots. For once in your life, you won’t care what anyone thinks and that will be the start of something beautiful.
And lastly, be your own #1 fan.
I know there are days when you hate yourself, I still have those days. But, there are days when you are so into yourself and your accomplishments. Take advantage of those days. You think your makeup looks amazing? Take those selfies and post them for the world to see. You made a great play in a basketball game? Tell the world. You got honors this semester? Shout it from the rooftops. People will call you cocky or conceited, it’s guaranteed. But, when you spend so many days and weeks and months and years hating yourself, you’re allowed to embrace the love you’ve grown to have. You are the only one who truly knows yourself. At the end of the day, you only have yourself, so why not praise yourself for the lady boss that you are? Be unapologetically you.
P.S. Go to prom alone…it’s cheaper and you will have way more fun with your girlfriends.