The Pressure of Being New Plant Parents: Our Biggest Learnings in the First Six Months
What we wish we knew sooner
One day I was living my life. Not having to take care of anyone but myself. The next I was gifted with a pot full of life. Not able to sustain themselves. Relying on someone else for their wellbeing. Such a vulnerable little soul. And as I was holding them in my hands the following thoughts run through my head:
First “I hope I will not kill you.”
Second “How will having you impact my life?”
Third “You are so beautiful”
It was love on third thought. My partner and I shared a look. The decision was made. We would give our everything to ensure our little miracle could grow into the adult plant it was destined to be.
The beginning is hard
The first few days were difficult. To say the least. Me fussing over our baby. Searching for the spot with perfect conditions for health, growth, and wellbeing.
My partner, more tending toward going with the flow. Something along the line of, they will show us what they need through time.
Each of us wanting the best for the little plant. Imagine our shock when we saw the first leaf turn yellow. To be honest it was only me who was shocked. Seeing the yellowing as a personal failure. My partner acknowledged it as part of the process. After less than a week it fell out. I cried. It hurt to see. It could mean our baby plant wasn’t feeling well. Of course, I did what every parent would do, I started to consult specialists.
Call for help
Google, countless plant blogs, and books. They all seemed to agree, the pilea pepermoides needed
- Light. Check it was in front of a window.
2. But make it indirect. Well, that wasn’t quite the case, with the pot sitting on the windowsill and all.
3. Also, room temperature. Let’s see. There is a radiator underneath the windowsill. This is bad.
How could we ever have thought we could do this? They didn’t exactly get what they needed from us. We were clearly not prepared to care for this plant. To provide the perfect environment. But how does one do that for their plant babies?
Being open to learning
It’s fair to say, we had no idea. We couldn’t rely on our gut feeling. We needed the proper knowledge first. The understanding of the natural environment of the pilea pepermoides. After beginning to gain this perspective. Thanks to all the people who know what they are doing and share their knowledge with the world. We moved our baby plant to a different spot. A tabletop with indirect morning and direct afternoon light. Leaving them to prosper under my mother’s watchful eye. As we went on an educational trip into the tropics.
Trying to put oneself in your plant child’s position
On the note attached to the pot when we first got our plant. It said, they were imported from Hawaii. When we visited the island chain, we developed an understanding of the climate our baby was used to.
Experiencing the force of a rainforest rainfall firsthand. While camping and being woken by drops hammering down on our tent roof like falling stones. Thankfully it didn’t leak. Talking about water. How long do you think a towel needs to dry? A year ago, I would have said a couple of hours. Now there’s no clear answer to that anymore. I am pretty sure our shower towels stayed wet for the whole ten-day camping trip.
So yes, there’s heavy rain and high humidity in the tropics. Evolving to its full effect only when the sun comes out. Which it does in the mornings. That’s when the humidity really starts kicking in. The water which poured down in the evening and during the night evaporates and hangs in the air. Creating a nice steam bath experience. Thankfully all the water droplets want to go somewhere. Thus the sun is covered with clouds by midday. Being responsible for the mainly indirect light the tropics inhabitants receive. The temperatures vary only some degrees Fahrenheit, approx. two degrees Celsius, throughout the year. That’s why our baby plant likes room temperature. Which should stay the same even when the seasons change outside.
Building a connection
Since being back home we established some sort of routine. Falling into a daily rhythm that seems to work for all of us. Starting the day with a morning meditation next to their tabletop. Regularly telling them how beautiful they are. Doing clean-ups of their foliage, so they feel fresh and healthy. Leaning into my partners go with the flow strategy. Water the soil when the top part begins to dry. Or the leaves start hanging down. Whatever happens first. Letting the excess water drip off as much as possible. And finally: quality time. Reading a book, watching a movie, or just sitting in silence together. Daydreaming of all the plant babies our little miracle will propagate in the future.
Summary of learnings
Without the proper knowledge, all our good intentions were in vain. Only after realising our mistake, could we change. Consulting more experienced houseplant owners. Gathering information from the internet. Visiting a different climate zone. And therefore, starting to empathise with our plant baby. While always staying open to learning from scratch again. Trying to build a connection every step of the way. All of this helped us growing into the plant parents we are today. Though far from perfect, we try our best to create an environment where our plant junior can prosper. Putting far too much pressure on ourselves. That being said.
A little reminder
When your plant baby isn’t feeling well or doesn’t grow the way they should. That’s no representation of your ability to care for them. Maybe they are just not feeling so well right now. And that’s okay. You are both living beings. Allowed to rest. Not having to improve all the time. Taking your time.
On that note. Thanks for carving out time to read this. It means the world to me.
