One of the sadder parts of being detransitioned and public about it is that the parents find you. They’ve been told by a doctor or a social worker that the only route forward that protects against suicidality is to affirm their kid’s trans identity. …

Grace is a detransitioned woman in the Midwest who you can follow on Twitter @hormonehangover. She recently spoke to the doctor that prescribed her HRT and wrote the referral letter for her top surgery. She’s exceptional for doing so- in my circle only a handful of detransitioners have gone back to inform their doctors about their detransition. We spoke about her decision to initiate the conversation and the consequences of the experience, with the hope it will help other detransitioners consider whether they’re up to have the talk.

Why did it feel important to talk to the doctor who enabled your transition?

I often resent the expectations made of detransitioners. In my dream world when you detransitioned there would be therapists you could actually access who have experience with patients going through detransition, you could say (publicly!) whatever you wanted about your choices and why you made them without being made into a symbol, and people wouldn’t demand much ideological loyalty out of you, since fundamentally you’re just a person who went through a weird, hard thing.

The main responsibility I wish detransitioners could opt out of would be being assumed to be a potential resource for helping other gender dysphoric patients discern what medical interventions they should get done. People immediately think that’s what we should be doing with the experience. …


Carey Callahan

LMFT/LPC, detransitioner, advocate for taking it easy