My First Mother’s Day as a Mom
[Link a la historian en español]
Last Sunday, I celebrated my first Mother’s Day as a mom. Beyond the festivities, it was a very personal experience and a day of tranquility. Joining the “mothers’ group” has profoundly changed my perception of motherhood and my own identity. What I will share may seem obvious to some, but for me, these are very significant reflections.
Before, Mother’s Day was an occasion to honor my mom, my grandmother, and my sister, and to express how important they are in my life. It was a time of gifts, calls, and celebrations centered on them. But this year, something was different. It wasn’t that I expected to be celebrated, but I felt a deeper and more honest connection with other mothers. I wanted to celebrate my cousins, aunts, and friends and recognize how incredible they are. I felt a similar urge as on International Women’s Day, a desire to express how much I value these women in my life. I found myself writing messages to mothers who have been important to me, acknowledging what I have learned from them. I now understand why many women, upon becoming mothers, start spending more time with other mothers and sometimes create a distance with some other people.
It was also an emotional day, reflecting on everything that has changed since I became a mother. I thought about what my life would be like without my son, and that idea is simply inconceivable to me now. This Mother’s Day made me see how much I have changed, and how I now value mothers in a way I didn’t fully understand before. Despite the challenges I’ve faced, I wouldn’t trade having my son for anything. It’s as if I can no longer clearly remember what my life was like before his birth.
Before becoming a mother, I saw motherhood as just another role, a kind of one-dimensional qualifier without understanding the depth of its impact. Now I know that being a mom is not just a label; it’s an experience that changes you and makes you discover new versions of yourself. The label of mom is powerful, though it is still only a part of who I am, and sometimes it is difficult to synchronize the different aspects that makeup one’s identity. But I am at the beginning of this experience, and I suppose that over time a “me” will emerge where these aspects coexist more peacefully since at this stage it is difficult to balance the different aspects of life without motherhood overshadowing everything else.
I have always recognized the work involved in being a mom, but now I value it even more and see that it is still undervalued socially. It is clear that everything one does as a mom comes from love (I am mainly referring to desired motherhood), not from a desire to be highlighted. However, society and governments rely on that love, normalizing the additional burden mothers live with. Therefore, this Mother’s Day I value even more all that mothers do and hope that all countries continue to advance in public policies on shared caregiving so that fewer and fewer mothers have to set aside their dreams to care for and love.
I understand that mothers are powerful and that despite the fatigue and challenges, a child’s smile heals everything. But we must not romanticize this power or this experience, because motherhood is not just about caring for our children; it is dealing with social expectations, unsolicited comments, body changes, and worries about the future. It is difficult, it requires strength, and yes, perhaps we are capable of handling it all, but that does not mean we should always sacrifice ourselves for others or take on more tasks so that our partners and society rest on us, taking advantage of the love we feel. However, setting those boundaries is difficult.
After experiencing childbirth and three months of motherhood, with its highs and lows, especially with my son being born underweight and spending days in neonatal care, I understood the strength that unites all mothers and a determination that drives us to get up day after day, no matter how difficult it is.
This Mother’s Day, I celebrated and admired all mothers, especially those who are heads of households, mothers going through any kind of pain, those experiencing postpartum depression, those living far from their families, and all those who, for various reasons, find it a bit difficult but still fight for the well-being and happiness of their children. Motherhood is not perfect nor easy, and by ceasing to romanticize it, we value even more all that it entails. However, it is an experience that I feel has connected me with other women and made me see myself in the eyes of other mothers, sharing joys and pains, and understanding that despite our differences, we are one.
