When You’re a Guy, But The Victim of Sexual Assault From a Woman
Justin Miller
2001

I’d like to congratulate you, Justin, for being so brave as to come up with this piece.

I have also read quite a good number of stories like yours, and though I am a female and have experienced some other form of sexual harrassment (not on the assault level yet I think), I am angered by the fact that when males are sexually harrassed/coerced by females, the female perpetrators usually get away either by bullying the victim (e.g., that he is a prude for even refusing) or by creating a scene (e.g., telling everybody else that the male victim was actually the one who harrassed/assaulted her when the truth is the other way around). Worse is, people will judge the victim by telling him, “You’re a man, why didn’t you fight back?” And I understand the point that if you fight back — especially when you’re a male and it’s a female perpetrator you’re dealing with — you might be charged with physical injury or something like it just because you fought back against a female and you are male. Which is exactly how gender stereotyping works, sad to say.

When I read your piece and others like it, I can’t help but feel (really really) bad as well about people — sadly, some of them ‘feminists’ who are supposed to fight for the rights of people regardless of gender — who champion the cause of women but ignore the fact that even males are being harrassed/assaulted/oppressed, too, and that females CAN also be perpetrators of sexual crimes (and same is true for LGBTQIA+ people).

My apologies for the rant! But anyway, I’m so glad that you have overcome, and I wish the same for other guys who have also been through the same thing. And hopefully people will be more understanding than judgmental with regard to victims of any form of sexual crime, regardless of the victim’s gender.

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