Day 4: Magical Conversation and Connection
This story is part of of a series of stories I wrote for a class project. You can read day one here
Today’s Challenge: The challenge is to talk with someone about something that you learned, watched, read, listened to, saw etc for at least seven minutes. According to Sherry Turkle, featured on the podcast, It takes at least seven minutes to see if a conversation would be interesting or not.
I think today’s challenge was the hardest for me because I don’t have a lot of people to talk to and then I could not think of how I would talk to someone for at least seven minutes or what we would talk about. It was also particularly hard for me because my voice is low and I am shy. (I’m working on increasing my volume).
I am also an introvert so I prefer to listening rather than talking. I also do not appreciate small talk with people. I look for connections with people but I’m always afraid to make the first move — something I need to change.
Another reason this challenge was hard is because I hardly talk to anyone. I live with my parents and siblings and apart from daily greetings and answering questions they ask, I hardly say anything. I realize this is not a healthy habit and can lead to mental health issues but that is my life.
I really do not have a connection with anyone. I hoped this challenge would push me to talk to someone but I did not push myself enough. Disappointed in myself, I am.
Do not assume that the reason I don’t talk to people is because I’m always on my phone. I really want to talk to people and connect with them on a deeper level beyond small talk, beyond seven minutes but I think my problem is that I live in my head and I always fear being judged by other people. I identify very much with the following line from the song “supercut” by Lorde:
In my head I do everything right — Supercut, Lorde
In reality, I cannot say that i did not talk to anyone. On the contrary, I talked to more people than I would have normally talked to because I interviewed people for an article I was writing and I had an hour long conversation with two of my friends via WhatsApp. My longest Interview was about 28 minutes and shortest was about 5 minutes. But the reality is that I did not feel like a had a connection with any of the people — except my friends — so I don’t feel like it’s counts.
It definitely feels good when you are able to talk to someone and connect with the person beyond the surface; But for me those connections don’t come easily. It has been three weeks since I first listened to the podcast and my writing of this article. I think I should increase my efforts to talk to people to find the connection I seek.
Leave your thoughts in the comments below and let me know what you think. Do you talk to connect with the people you talk to?