Things looked different in daylight.
Your arms were wrapped around me, and I could feel your breath in my hair.
I wanted to get up, to make coffee and stare through the window, but at my one move, you hold me tighter.
You said last night that you missed me. I can feel it.
You never hold me like that before.
You were kissing me differently, too.
Everything has changed. Me, you, our relationship. But I’m afraid we grew into people who don’t want the same things. Did we ever want the same things? I can’t even remember.
You are now where I was two years ago. But I moved on. From us, from everything from the past.
I couldn’t wake those feelings from back then. I thought I did last night.
But babe, that was only lust.
I could never be in love with you like I was two years ago, even if I try, and I almost feel guilty for that. And a little sad.
I can’t be your friend — we went through too much.
And I can’t be your lover again — I was that a long time ago.
We will always be something in between, something undefined.
We won’t call each other to chat, and we won’t be a part of each other’s big moments in life.
We will just say hi when we see each other on the street, hug awkwardly and talk about some stupid things.
Once in a while, when one of our mutual friends mentions your name, I will smile a little and ask how are you, just to make sure life treats you well.
Just to know that you are safe and happy, with someone who loves you, like I did a long time ago.
Thank you for reading!