One of the things I like about traditional masculinity is there’s a certain fairness to it. If you win a wrestling match, for instance, no one can take that away from you. If you’re voted captain, you get to be captain. You earn your victories, but then they’re really yours. Yet, in his own way, my coach was a feminist too (though, I doubt he’d call himself that.) He was willing to give me the chance, and this trait of his actually required a very high amount of self awareness. My senior year, we were watching another woman on the team wrestle, and he confided to me you know,…