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Let’s talk about sex.

If you struggle with shyness in the bedroom, that line may have made you uncomfortable. Usually, when we are shy or anxious about something, we tend to avoid it. And because we avoid it, we never have the chance to confront our anxiety or shyness. Avoidance and anxiety can make us miss out on great things — especially great sex.

If you’re shy in the bedroom, stop avoiding sex-related stuff. Try these tips instead. Here are three science-backed strategies to overcome shyness in the bedroom.

Dig deep and find the origins of your beliefs

Our past experiences shape our mental frameworks for certain ideas. We…


As much as we want to believe it’s gone, it isn’t

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It’s May, and mental health awareness month has started. Every year I look forward to the social media programming: the people who share stories of recovery, those receiving support for their current struggles, and the community of providers on social media sharing amazing mental health content. I feel so much solidarity with all of these groups because I’ve been one of them at some point in my life.

As a psychotherapist and someone who identifies as a wounded healer, I feel so honored to witness others’ stories, especially on social media. Even just a few years ago, some people wouldn’t…


A few things that can make all the difference to get you through an anxious time

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I’ve been in survival mode recently.

Most people can relate to this feeling at some point in their lives. In times of crisis, we can feel so overwhelmed that it’s all we can do to ride out the discomfort so we don’t make the situation worse. Survival mode is all about getting through.

Sometimes we can’t do anything to fix the crisis right away. For example, we can’t change the state of a global pandemic, or the loss of a loved one, or a natural disaster. We simply need to survive the anxiety and live to fight another day.

Crisis…


Strategies for navigating a changed world

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With COVID-19 vaccines rolling out and 1.41 billion vaccination shots delivered worldwide, a return to the outside world is on the horizon. But after being socially distanced and isolated for over a year, many people are feeling anxious about a return to “normal.”

I thought I would feel less anxious once I was vaccinated. But as I started to venture out more, I felt a worry I just couldn’t shake. Turns out, I’m not alone. …


And how to effectively prepare

The therapy landscape has changed significantly over the past year. Going to therapy can be intimidating in person, but consumers are now forced to navigate teletherapy as well.

Teletherapy has so many benefits. It allows busy people to fit appointments into their workday. It cuts down on travel time. It has provided better access to mental health care.

But it also requires access to a computer or cellphone. It requires vulnerability to meet someone for the first time over a computer screen, especially when that person is your new therapist and the conversation is about your innermost challenges. …


They might be hiding in plain sight

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Do you have someone in your life who belittles and blames you? Who is passive-aggressive, condescending, or easily threatened? How about someone who has so much confidence that it gives you whiplash?

We all know them. The people who make our problems about them, who put their self-interest at the forefront, others be damned. It can feel like they’re stringing us along behind the scenes, setting us up to act or react how they want us to.

If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re dealing with a narcissist. Psychologists use the term narcissism to describe an inflated sense of self…


An open letter from your therapist

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Dear fellow human,

Therapy is incredibly difficult. Every day that you participate in therapy is a continued choice to keep trying. You don’t just make the decision to go to therapy and then the work is over. It’s an enormous effort and priority, and it can feel really tempting to stop for various reasons.

People have all kinds of reasons for stopping therapy. …


Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. National surveys suggest that nearly 30 million Americans will develop an eating disorder at some point in their lifetime. Most eating disorders will begin during adolescence. One widely-believed myth is that eating disorders are caused by families. On the contrary, families can be a great source of allyship. In fact, the most science-supported treatment for adolescents with eating disorders is Family-based Treatment, in which parents take responsibility for restoring the health of their adolescent.

Families can also take an active role in preventing eating disorders. …


#3: You must talk a lot about people’s mothers

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I’m a psychotherapist. Let me tell you, it’s remarkable what people have said to me at parties. There’s something about me that says T-H-E-R-A-P-I-S-T on my forehead — I swear people can spot me from a mile away.

Sometimes I feel like a Starbucks barista. No one even says “hello,” they just shout their life story at me and expect me to produce a caramel macchiato of free advice. Would you like whipped cream with that?

Or the alternative, when I’m making small-talk at a party and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up because…


Here’s what we can’t always tell you

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Therapy is so often shrouded in a cloak of mystery. Your therapist should be open with you about the process of therapy, what to expect, and give you the opportunity to ask questions. But because time in therapy is focused on you (the client), there might be some background assumptions you aren’t aware of. As therapists, there are things we want you to know, but can’t (or don’t have time to) directly say.

Here are five things your therapist wants you to know, but might not always be able to say directly.

We are also human

Most people put therapists on a pedestal —…

Dr. Marina Harris

PhD in Clinical Psychology | Empathetic advice backed by science - because I want to help you live a more joyful, more fulfilled life | www.drmarinaharris.com

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