System Uninstall (excerpt)

NOTA: êste é um trecho do segundo capítulo de um Sailormoon fanfic que escrevi no ano 2000 【少女革命セーラーサターン】. Foi um trabalho bastante O.O.C. e para o qual a grande maioria dos animetards da época naturalmente torceu o nariz. De 2004 para cá, passei a percebê-lo como êle realmente é: uma obra muito imatura do ponto de vista formal e não muito “frutífera” (leia-se: convincente) enquanto tentativa de um romance-de-idéias. Realizei muitas pequenas correções e ajustes no texto até 2004, mas mesmo assim êle não ficou «perfeito» (e jamais ficará).

— Rei!

► Dad!

— I… What…

► Today I just felt like seeing you… Didn’t you like the surprise?

— Well!… oh… sure, I’m glad to see you here, but…

► Why do you look so embarrassed? Just because today is not my birthday?

— Uh… well… it’s hard to admit, but… all these years… and I really… don’t know what to say now… Sorry…

► That’s not a problem, dad!… I do understand you! But today I really want to talk to you. I intend to make this night a special one, just for the two of us, my dad! May I come in?

— Of course! Come on in!

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— Want your favorite drink?

► Kind of you, dad. Please!

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— Here it is.

► Thanks, dad.

► Do you like this dress?

— Sure! The one I gave to you…

► … my birthday, last year.

— Yes. It makes you look even more beautiful!

► Yes, I know it. And… Dad, I *do* know why you always give me white dresses for my birthdays.

— *Really*?

► Really. Because you like to make me remind you of my mother. You *love* to see me look like her.

— !

► Have you noticed how much I look like her tonight?

— In fact, I couldn’t help noticing…

► And… what if I *actually* looked like… the woman that was your wife? The woman that you married many years ago? What if… if I… *acted* like your wife? What if I *loved* you, just like mother used to do?

— REI!!!

► Would you like it?

— Rei! My *daughter*! You really don’t mean…

► YES!, I MEAN IT!

— NO! What the hell has happened to you? You sound like a…

► … dirty bitch?

— !

► Oh!, come on! It’s so plain to see, you would adore to possess me! And ain’t nothing wrong with it, I’m sure! Deep inside… every man thinks and feels the same as you do! Of course they usually don’t dare to admit it, but this fact should never mean a thing to SPECIAL people like *ourselves*, dad! Do you *really* believe that there may never exist happy exceptions to the most fucking stupid rule ever? *We* can be one of those exceptions, dad, — right here, right tonight…

— No! Never! I won’t let it happen! Get the hell out of my house now! Go away and don’t look at my face anymore! Forget and deny that I am your father, I will forget and deny that you are my daughter! GO!

► Oh!, how funny hypocrisy can be! So you may feel that you want me, but you may not fulfill that harmless desire. For what? Why?

— Because

► THAT’S NONSENSE, DAD! And just in case you haven’t realized yet, I’m here tonight not only because I know that you want me, but especially because I have always wanted you too!

— Rei!

► Yes! As a matter of fact I have no interest in men…

— !!!

► … but you are an *exception* to this rule of mine… you know what, one day, I even thought that I really had fallen in love for a man, for Kaidou-san… but, as I said, it was just a thought, an illusion,… quite different from what I have been feeling for you during all these years, since 1981…

— WHAT?????!

► … truly, dad, you’re the only man that I would give my cunt to.

— MY G*D!

► Dad! All that we need is just one night together!… All that we need is only one night… to remember for the rest of our lives… am I asking for too much?

— KEEP AWAY FROM ME!

► So you’re *afraid*? Afraid of *me*? Afraid of *yourself*? Remember!, it was *you* who taught me to think that a *real* man does not ever fear his own inner truth! Ain’t you a *real* man, dad?

— !

► I know that you *are* a real man, dad… you just need a little help from your pretty daughter… to bring him out one more time… Let me kiss your hand… fine!… now, feel my tongue, caressing your arm… don’t it feel good?…

— Rei! My *daughter*! Please stop!, or

► OR *WHAT*? YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO RESIST YOURSELF? WHY SHOULD YOU? LOOK INTO MY EYES, LOOK AT MY FACE! DON’T YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? DON’T YOU LIKE TO SEE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN? A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN THAT IS OPEN WIDE FOR YOU? DON’T YOU? DON’T YOU LIKE TO BE KISSED BY A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN…

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► … ain’t my kiss as good as the kisses of all the other beautiful women that you have already fucked?

— No!!! It’s *better*! *Much*…

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— … better…

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► Bye, dad. You died happy, though you didn’t deserve it. Well, I did deserve to taste you, so there was no other way. If this fuck had happened several years ago… things wouldn’t have been very different. You would have kept preferring your stupid politics to caring for me. Just like you preferred your stupid politics to the cunt of my mother. However in my world there won’t be politics at all. Sailorsaturn will rule this planet, but without hypocrisy.

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