Presently, Coca Cola is also attempting to intimidate Groupe Bolema Inc., a small, health conscious Montreal Company, whose passionate team aims to create unique, tasty and healthy all-natural beverages containing super-herbs that offer potent health benefits.

Coca Cola commanded Bolema to immediately cease the use of the word “Smart” for their lime drink called SMART LIME. Coca Cola claims that this is an infringement on one of their products called Smartwater. (These two products have absolutely nothing in common, other than the word ‘Smart’ in their respective names.) Here is the sarcastic letter that I wrote to the President to Coca Cola:

Dear Mr. Kent,

Let me introduce myself, my name is Mario Boisvert from Montreal, yes, your friendly neighbour from the north, where ‘poutine’ was invented — actually if ever you’re in town, you should try this delicacy of ours… I strongly recommend a place called “Le Smart Burger”. Speaking of ‘smart’, I am the president of Groupe Bolema Inc. which is a small company specializing in all-natural beverages that stimulate two of my favourite organs. (Smart Lime for brain health, Maca Sutra for sexual health)

We registered a product called SMART LIME with CIPO (The Canadian Intellectual Property Office) here in Canada in 2012. Shortly after our first production run of Smart Lime, we received a MONSTER document by the Gowlings legal firm demanding for us to immediately cease the use of the word ‘Smart’ in the name Smart Lime. Astonished and perplexed, this hit us like a SURGE — we had no idea that the word “Smart” belonged to The Coca-Cola Company.

Shortly after CIPO rejected Gowlings demand, we received yet another FULL THROTTLE letter from your persistent legal team. And that’s when it became clear to me that the fine people at Gowlings are obviously not drinking enough of your “SmartWater”!

Now, please don’t get me wrong… I’m not trying to be a smart aleck here, but allow me to go over some historical facts in regards to Gowlings preposterous claim that The Coca-Cola Company is somehow the owner of words belonging to the English language — words such as “Smart”!

Here is where it gets funny…

Christopher Smart, an English Poet nicknamed “Kitty Smart” was given that name by his parents when he was born in 1722, one hundred and sixty-four years before Mr. John Pemberton invented his cocaine/caffeine mixture called Coca-Cola which precedes your SmartWater by two hundred and seventy seven years. This is quite ironic, not just because of the name, but because Mr. Pemberton was a morphine addict — you could say he was more of a “MELLOW YELLOW” — incidentally, a drink of yours that was introduced in 1979, some 13 years after singer/songwriter Donovan’s’ famous song of the exact same name!

My take on this whole ludicrous claim is that, it was probably concocted by a young ambitious lawyer at Gowlings trying to move up the ranks — putting in the extra hours, desperately looking to find any legal infringements upon your company so he or she could make some extra money, enough to spoil himself or herself with the latest ‘Smart Phone’ or drive around the city in his or her latest electric ‘Smart Car’…

Mr. Kent, I am almost certain that you are not even aware of this absurd dispute, and I am also certain that a man with your ‘smarts’ will understand that we haven’t taken anything from anybody here, not from Coca-Cola or any other company for that matter — all we have done is borrow a word from the English language.

We are a tiny, independent, passionate, hardworking group dedicated to making healthy and flavourful drinks — we have no delusions of grandeur and have absolutely no means or intentions to go up against ‘giants’.

At this point, we are kindly asking you to, MELLO the Gowling’s by sending them a case of MASTER CHILL. Hopefully they’ll put an end to our MONSTER challenge, which oddly resembles the time when Warner Bros. tried to stop the Marx Brothers in releasing their latest movie “A Night in Casablanca” on the pretext that Warner owned the name “Casablanca”….

Groucho Marx’s public media response to Warner Bros. was so funny…

all of America laughed…except for Jack and Harry.

Sincerely,

Mario Boisvert

President, Groupe Bolema Inc.

Ps. If you are curious to taste our SMART LIME, you can do so by ordering our products through our kickstarter campaign.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/471306696/bolema