July 4 — Never Give Fear The Upper Hand

Artist Kristi Woods and I — embracing joy in rehearsal for www.womenofmusicaltheatre.com

I am petrified.

Today was another doozy.

10am to 11am — music rehearsal for Broadway Divas (www.womenofmusicaltheatre.com)

12pm-4pm — choreography rehearsal for Broadway Divas

5pm-MAP Team Meeting regarding venues for 2017/2018 Season

I woke up at 5am petrified. I was petrified of this one song I have to play at tomorrow’s www.confidentialproject.com debut at the Toronto Fringe Festival.

So after my morning swim I practised it 9 times.

Throughout the day I panicked about various things … and texted Carson (my PHENOMENAL Creative Director) and he talked me back from the ledge with his usual wisdom and calm.

But during our team meeting regarding venues for our 2017/2018 Season, every time the word ‘Fringe’ was mentioned, I literally keeled over sideways with absolute fear and trepidation.

Afraid of what?


I’m a producer. It’s my JOB to anticipate the absolute worst and come up with back up plan after back up plan. And I have. My team is ready for any and all eventuality. But sheesh! The panic attacks!

And then, while driving home …

“Never give fear the upper hand.”

I was introduced to this phrase by Nicole Milne — Director of the Confidential Project Franchise in Ottawa, when the company was in its earliest, mad-cap days and I was in a constant state of fear and panic as I tried to lead the rapid growth of the concept.

“Never give fear the upper hand.”

To me, that phrase means don’t let fear rob you of the joy.

The joy of casting 117 artists.

The joy of inviting them to be a part of The Toronto Fringe Festival — the biggest yet with 160 shows.

The joy of watching their talent shine.

The joy of watching patrons experience the concept for the first time.

The joy of watching my team lead with kindness and killer instinct and skill.

The joy of musical theatre! Crazy, silly, moving, powerful, life changing musical theatre.

So I crossed the threshold where I told fear — no way! There’s no WAY I’m letting you rob me of all of that joy!

I am NEVER letting fear have the upper hand.


Marion #NotEnoughRyeForJuly

PS. … but I DID rehearse that most difficult song 5 more times once I arrived home … *wink*

Today’s Stats:

Songs rehearsed musically in an hour: 14

Songs choreographed in 4 hours: 7

Scores rehearsed for Fringe: 1

Times I played the most difficult piece in the score: 14

Artists who dropped out of the Women/Festival today: 2

Crazed and Panicked Texts Sent to Carson before 8am: 6

After 8am: 25+

Number of shots of rye consumed: 3

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