The Splendid Woman’s Bible: 7 Quick Steps to be Unforgettable and Unstoppable
Women forget how much power we have. Educated affluent women have more power all things added up than most men and women in the world. However most of us do not know our true power we are basically under-utilizing a precious untapped resource. I am a firm believer in the power of the human potential. So I cannot wait when more and more women find their power to be unforgettable and unstoppable.
First let’s define the different powers we have available.
Getting people to do things for you. Including asking them to share content, lift your luggage on a plane and buying you meals and opening doors both literal and metaphorical corporate doors.
Social power is literally how likeable you are and how many people want you as friend. How much does the waiter offer to you? Free desert? Social Power. Hold an event and how fast you can fill the room. Social Power. People feel better in your presence and want to hang out with you longer and will give you free stuff or money to keep you there.
To convert someone to be a ‘fan’ you need to unforgettable. Their experience of you has to be unforgettable.
My most stunning example of this was when I walked to a big conference and accidentally sat at the gold seats. The ones which were the most expensive. I didn’t intend to do that. However no one stopped me. That was the day I was wearing my discounted designer dress and walked tall and just sat down. It only dawned on me much latter after being fed a VIP lunch that I was in the wrong seat. However my name tag could have given this status away. Yet no one looked and then sneaky me, I took it off.
What worked further to my benefit is that I actually bumped into a friend who did have a gold ticket and I did sit next to her and lunch with her. Hence by association I was golden. I didn’t buy myself this state of treatment, I just seemed to deserve it and so I got it.
So Quickie 1: Claim the best (where possible without hurting or depriving someone else more deserving or taking resources from someone who needs it more)
You deserve the best. You also deserve the best you can get not for yourself but to represent many women who may not have the same opportunities you have been offered. So on the day I was offered a gold ticket — I reached into my most splendid self and said, “Why thank you!”
Over the years, my peak performing perfectionistic friends have grown to be celebrity hairdressers and stylists and owners of the top spots to be seen. Lucky me — I knew how to pick them and keep those friendships going. However this also elevates my style. I look good because they make me look good. They also insist on following my Facebook and tell me how to look as good as their celebrity clients (but that’s another story in the Splendid Women’s Bible on perfectionism).
Quickie 2: Look your best. Like the beauty flower that you are
What really helps about looking good is I am unforgettable. I am never fooling myself — I am not the most beautiful person in any room but I carry myself with a chic haircut and fashion foward outfit and people turn heads or look me up and down when they think I am not looking. Win for social power — me!
Quickie 3: Wear a Signature Colour and Look — Brand You
Before I had such a strong PR and Marketing crew, I simply always wore red. Red is my favourite and signature color. I didn’t realise it had any effect until at one event, a lady I said hello to for the very first time, told me she had seen me before at the last event — and I was also in red. Unforgettable — win.
What was unforgettable and social power has to do with unstoppable? If you need to bring resources together fast or at all, you need to be likeable. You need people to want to reach into their deep pockets or resources to find a way to help you. People can little or no time for someone they don’t like or want to be around.
Many people talk about networking and alumni and your MBA buying and building you connections. However be dull and no matter how many people you may know. If they don’t think of you or call you friend and then you will get stopped. Stopped at the gold ticket entries, your calls go unanswered and you start knocking and no one answers the door.
Expertise Power is a core strength in our Knowledge Economy. Notice I didn’t say intellect nor did I say academic smarts. Solve someone’s problem and you will be unforgettable. Cure their child’s toothache with a referral to a great kid friendly dentist, share gluten free meal recipes that help them recover from an illness and teach them to dig themselves of debt. You are now unforgettable. Ask them for anything — you are now unstoppable. The art however is not just telling people what to do. The art is to listen to them in such a way that you get them to reveal their deepest darkest needs that you can meet with your expertise. So don’t spout random content from nowhere and to no one. Listen. Hold you tongue and only give them something that works.
Quickie 4: Listen and Solve a Huge Problem with your relevant expertise
Quickie 5: Be Unstoppable
You see the ninja mind trick here is that we women are never stopped. We simply slowed down because of a fear. Or to avoid a conflict. Or to avoid drawing attention to ourselves.
We are unstoppable already. With or without the red dress. If you want something just keep going to get it. If things go haywire, reassess and then keep on going on. We seem to lack self confidence and second guess ourselves in ways that men do not do. I know I do.
The best way to prove to oneself that we can do it always is to… just do it.
How many of us have run a marathon. Been there, done that. Before that we weren’t that sure.
How many of us have overcome a financial challenge. Been there, done that. Unstoppable.
You, I, We -Splendid Women are Unstoppable. And Unstoppable Women are simply attention getting and totally unforgettable. I promise you.
Think of any woman world leader. They may not be liked. They may be less than physically attractive. But they were fiercely unforgettable and unstoppable.
Quickie 6: Help a Sister to be Unforgettable.
If you know of a position open in the company, tell a female colleague and tell the hiring manager. Be a speaker of good for all potential women and other deserving candidates. Never leave an opportunity for other promotion to pass you by. “Other promotion” means to tell someone how great your aunt, best friend, cousin and women colleagues are. Promoting other women makes you glow a natural altruistic shine. Almost halo like.
Legal Power we have them on our side. Yet too few of us understand or use them. Regretably the #Metoo showed how many of us decided against legal or policy action even when the transgressor needs to be stopped. Where we can and have to, we need to use the full range of our rights to maintain our status of being taken seriously and respected. We need to use the support of the country or company till this is no longer a discussion we have to raise. Till then — for all women and any other communities which are marginalized, be unforgettable. Take the wrong doers to court. If you can speak out, stand for the rights. It may feel too much a challenge however if you don’t many of our sisters around the world are left even more voiceless and without role models for what is truly possible. There is a new world. Where women are unstoppable.
Not a Quickie but a Necessary Step 7: Claim our full legal and ethical and human rights
This was written tongue in cheek but addressing a very serious topic. Our feminine humanness needs to be fully realized. Unforgettable brains, beauty and grace is only a blessing to all humanity. Never forget that.
Your Aspiring to Always be Splendid — Unforgettable and Unstoppable Sister from Another Mother. United in Spirit