This is my first post, and I am simply testing the waters. So much has been going on in my life and I’ve found myself more perseverant than I ever thought I could be. Writing about it is the only witness I have because I am so separated from my own social life. Granted, I’m 19 years old soon to be 20, but I just can’t help but feel so behind.

I want to refrain as much as possible from using networks as a scapegoat for my feelings. I much rather take this energy and apply it to my goals, but I’m still learning what works for me. My biggest struggle that I understand is transforming my days into what I yearn them to be. I know this is very vague and practically everyone’s struggle, but exactly how long are you supposed to accept this transformation will take? I don’t suppose anything except for how hard you’re willing to work perhaps…

And then I just feel that maybe I haven’t gained the chutzpah to really jump start the life I see myself living. In between having no time and wanting to fall on my face from exhaustion I tend to lose focus ever so often. I read countless success stories that all have one thing in common. “One day I just decided I wasn’t going to live like this anymore,” tends to be one of the most repetitive beginnings to all successful journeys. I wake up go to sleep and daydream this statement everyday. It’s almost petrifying to consider all the lost people I not only know, but have played a significant role in my life. I don’t doubt myself as far as the non-existing limits I believe in, which could be a downfall in the short term. I need enough passion and reasoning to act on the desires I have. My reality is that I have no time to alter my life to anything different than it is now without putting myself at complete risk for absolute failure. Hence, the one lesson all successful people share also excludes fear in itself.