Hi. What’s up :)

Well, here I am. A month into 2022, looking ahead to find a new job, in a completely different field. It’s exciting and daunting all at the same time. This is my first blog post…ever. I’m not really sure how this is going to work. I’m not a writer, but I won’t apologize for rambling! I want to share my experience and document my learning as I transition from a teacher to a front end developer. The career change is my real end goal.

I guess I’ll introduce myself first. My name is Marissa. Hi again. I’m currently in my 7th year of teaching in a nice school district in Michigan. Honestly, I have a great school district. I specifically teach beginning band with elementary kids (5th & 6th graders) at 6 different schools. Some fast info for you:

• I have wonderful participation in both grades. This year I have 140 kids in my 6th grade band (50% of their class), and 210 in my 5th grade band (65% of their class). Those are great numbers.
• My district got nominated for the 10th year in a row as a “Best Community for Music Education.”
• Our families love our band and choir programs, and we are lucky that they are willing to help.
• Our administration gives us a budget, and with proper vetting, will make big purchases for us like marching band uniforms, choir tuxes, school-owned instruments, technology, etc.
• The music department faculty I work with are amazing- dedicated, resourceful, sharing, loving, collaborative and absolutely have to be the best K-12 department in the district. We work together and we actually like it!

Hearing it all spelled out like this, knowing how much support and freedom I do have to teach and only teach band, makes me feel really lucky.

I also feel terribly guilty that I’m even thinking of leaving my job. But, I knew when I took this job it wasn’t going to be forever. I literally remember talking to my retirement guy, and when he mentioned that my retirement accounts mature when I’m 65, in 40 years, I swear my eyes bugged out of my head! Oh h**l no, I would not be doing this in 40 years.

To rewind even further, I did not go to school to be a teacher. I knew probably in 8th grade that music was the biggest passion I had. I wanted to play professionally, in an orchestra. And I did! I went to college, got my degree in oboe performance, and for a few years, lived that life. I took auditions, played in local orchestras, subbed in other orchestras, took gigs, taught SO many private lessons…and boom my then-boyfriend proposed! I 100% wanted to marry him (going on 9 years married now!), and I knew I wanted to get married more than I wanted to continue the professional musician life. I didn’t want to keep moving around, bouncing from state to state, going to college again for more useless degrees so I could avoid paying back student loans, taking more auditions, not having insurance, and frankly, not making much money. I ended up going to back to school anyways, and decided to get my teaching certificate in music, that way I could teach band. I got placed in this great district with a great program. At the end of my placement, there was a retirement in the music department, a bunch of people shifted around, and lo and behold, I ended up getting the elementary band job that I have now. Yes, I did my student teaching in the district I’m currently teaching in.

There. Now you’re caught up.

I took on a lot my first few years. Marching band assistant. After-school jazz band. Volunteering at every other band or choir concert. Performing in the musicals. Getting there early. Staying late. All that normal stuff teachers usually do. But it was exhausting. I’d literally get home, try to have dinner, and I’d be dead asleep by like, 9pm. I’d get up and leave for work before my husband was even up. I’d get to see and talk to him for 3 hours around dinnertime, then pass out before he went to bed. I was not happy with that, so I starting stepping back. First, it was no more musicals. Then, I started getting to school only a half hour before school started, and I left within a half hour of dismissal. Then I stopped helping at extra concerts. COVID was a convenient way for me to cut marching band out of my schedule. This year, I stepped back from jazz band. I started realizing that I’m not happy doing this job anymore. I found I’m literally trying to do the bare minimum, while still producing kids who enjoy and appreciate music…because who doesn’t like music? Seriously :)

Ok, so we have regularly scheduled professional development as teachers, and recently, we’ve been focused on social-emotional learning of our students. There was a quote that stuck with me from our work one day. This teacher said something along the lines of, “I didn’t become a teacher because I love English. I became a teacher because I love kids.”

Nope. It’s literally the complete opposite for me.

This quote resonated with me, but not as it was intended. I heard that and it was just more fuel to pursue a different career. Yup, I’m doing the right (albeit difficult) thing. I became a teacher because I loved music, because I didn’t want to give up music, because that was my first love. At that point, I was already a year and a half into my front end development journey, but those words just totally hit my like a sack of potatoes. I didn’t become a teacher for the same reasons as this wonderfully passionate, driven teacher did. Music is what my passion was, not kids. Music drove me. And again, I know it sounds horrible, but I came to the truth. Frankly, if I told this to my students’ parents, they’d probably be like, “Uh, we want a teacher who’s actually dedicated, and wants to teach our kids.” Yes! You do! You are completely right!

And that may not be me anymore.