No Boyfriend Since Birth. An acronym that’s not as limiting as it seems.

Photo by Jean Gerber

Huge eyeball stares, jaws dropping on the ground. Slight fear and confusion. That’s a typical reaction when a unicorn suddenly appears in your backyard. That’s also the typical reaction I get when I reveal to people that I never had a boyfriend.

The next thing people would say is, “How come? You’re gorgeous! You’re great in what you do! Men would die to get a girl like you!”

Then, some “well-meaning” folk would add something like, “Stop being so choosy! You’re 28 now. Don’t you want a man to love you, take care of you, and give you babies? You gotta spread your good genes now, girl, before it’s too late.”

Are there others like me who hear this all the time? Raise your hands. Because I know for certain that I am not alone.

We of the No Boyfriend Since Birth club have one trait in common- we are quite comfortable with our solitude. Although we appreciate good company and socialize like any person, we don’t feel sad when we have to do certain activities alone- like eating and traveling. Other girls would shudder at just the thought of it. They feel like they would be judged by others just by enjoying a cup of coffee in a restaurant alone. “Others might think I’m sad, lonely, and not capable of having a relationship.”

But to the NBSB, her inner world- her self, her beliefs, her career, and her passions- is just as interesting and as fulfilling as her relationships with her friends, family, and colleagues. She understands how enriching it is to share her life with someone, so she keeps an open heart and mind to its possibility. But she won’t compromise her values simply for the sake of getting into a romantic relationship, and shut the mouths of every judgemental person out there.

Another stereotype of the NBSB is that we have zero knowledge in dating and relationships. Ah, but we are observant women. We have friends and family members who share their experiences with us. We read books and websites. And believe it or not, we DO go on dates when the opportunity arises. It’s just that these dates haven’t bloomed into a serious, romantic relationship.

Lastly, and this is the shallowest stereotype of them all- NBSBs are physically unattractive. If we don't lack the humps, we lack the silky, clear skin. If we wear straight cut jeans and a unisex t-shirt instead of those tummy-revealing crop tops and skinnies, people immediately have a theory as to why we're not in a relationship. Seriously? Being physically attractive by society's standards doesn't guarantee you a lover. Chance and choice does. Apparently we NBSB's just haven't stumbled upon our significant others yet.

Being that she has no man to limit her time, energy, and attention, the NBSB pours them generously to her closest friends and family. NBSBs, I've observed, are selfless women who would volunteer in social welfare activities in a heartbeat. They are the ones who would make time to create products that will benefit mankind. They are the ones willing to teach and share their expertise to others. Without knowing it, NBSBs are making a big difference in the world.

So with all these meritable traits, how come the NBSB is always shamed by society? Does having no experience in a romantic relationship equate the NBSB as an unattractive woman incapable of true love?

As I examined my life so far with its colorful experiences, amazing accomplishments, and the hundreds of people who continue to enrich it everyday, I knew exactly what the answer was.