So You Think You Know How It Feels
There was a palpable tension within me. I checked my pocket to see if I had the money. I had enough. Enough to pay bills for an afternoon snack for both of us. I didn’t wait any longer. I took a rickshaw to Ajo cafe where Elana was waiting. I was thinking about this day for quite a long time. It’s my first date with Elana after a year of long distance communication. All these days I have seen Elana in pictures. They were not Elana. They were full of bits and binaries. My beautiful Elana got converted into bits and binaries. She then existed in the world of pixels. Now I could see her in the world of laughter, eye-winking and kisses. Now I could probably kiss her, a cute one in her cheek while everyone would be enjoying their meals in the cafe. We would be bothering nobody. Just us, looking at each other.
Thirty five minutes later I reached Ajo cafe. My hands were sweating. I was taking deep breaths. I love Elana. Now I would see her. I was anticipating how she would be wearing. I entered the cafe. It’s not a typical neighbourhood cafe. It’s usually bigger than most other cafe in Dhaka. It’s located in a rich neighbourhood of Dhaka. I checked the time. Almost quarter to five. I am not late.
I was scanning the tables of Ajo cafe. Each time, I saw anyone who doesn’t look like Elana, I moved my eyes off of them as fast as my senses work. My eyes only wanted to see Elana. Ela-naa-naaaanaa. Like a spin in my tongue. Like that loo-leeee-taaaa sound from Nabokov. Anyone that doesn’t look like Elana, as if my eyes were saying “ Get outta here, show me Elana! c’ mon”.
My eyes kept searching. From one corner to another, from that weird looking mustache guy to that 20-years old girl who were wearing a heavy-load of make-up, my eyes were working as a scanning vision to find Elana and all these were happening in blazing fast manner of reality. You want it to over soon but it lingers. Also that you know that this reality is fleeting. Soon you’d be seeing Elana, your sweetheart and you just can’t wait 10 seconds. 10 seconds! are you kidding me? Your mind wanders. Elana was not there! at least not at the first floor. In a typical way, the situation would be explained like I rushed to the second floor. But between first floor and second floor, there were countless thoughts, neural network going crazy over suggesting alternate realities. Mind being active, it was concocting many alternate realities like what if some thing happened to Elana? And then in the second floor, the corner table, decorated with daisy flower and white linen table-cloth, I found my Elana sitting and looking at me, smiling!