Orange Juice

Mark Benjamin
Sep 8, 2018 · 1 min read

Today I drank…

  1. Orange juice with Cheerios which I ate for breakfast out of a red Solo cup. I don’t have any bowls. It’s all the same. Judge yourself. I use soy milk now ’cause regular milk makes me piss out of my ass. I don’t know why Cheerios is my favorite cereal. I’m a pretty basic bitch. My brother ate Honey Nut Cheerios. This almost tore us apart when I was five.
  2. Seltzer at two mics. I asked if wearing Adidas means I hate black people. Also what’s the deal with “incels?” What happened to just calling these guys losers? And if they have true social anxiety disorders, then just make a ton of money. And if these guys (who I’m pretty sure are all white) can’t get laid now, wait ’til the day when black guys have money.

Hey — remember when the President was a black man instead of a white boy.

18 days.

    Mark Benjamin

    Written by

    Comedian. Writing Monologue Jokes For Nobody.

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