Six-dollar Snapple

Mark Benjamin
Sep 3, 2018 · 1 min read

Yesterday I drank…

  1. Peach Snapple, at the US Open. It’s the Billie Jean King tennis center. She was there, at the Federer-Kyrgios match we saw. What a legend. See that movie Battle of the Sexes. So good. How is there no out male gay tennis player? Or golfer for that matter. Roger Federer is really good. Keep an eye on him — he could be huge someday.
  2. Water, at the open mic I hosted. I had a weird set. All over the place, not myself. I’m rusty — haven’t done many spots in the past week.
  3. Seltzer, at Blue Gold next door. Not drinking whiskey and beer while shooting pool was not exactly…enjoyable. Playing pool distracted me a bit, but I also associate it with drinking, so…I dunno. At least I don’t need alcohol to beat the piss out of my friends.

12 days without booze, 10 without pot.

Mark Benjamin

Written by

Comedian. Writing Monologue Jokes For Nobody.

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