It keeps coming back. Just when I forget it’s a thing that still exists, it comes back, in all its painful and obnoxious glory to remind the world it’s still strong and ready to fuck up your day.

I’ve been told you just gotta leave that shit alone, let it take care of itself, it’ll be gone again and soon, soon, you will forget it’s there again. It’s just a part of life. It’s just something that happens, and maybe one sweet, sweet day it will be eradicated from humanity, gone the same way as smallpox.

The symptoms and reactions are always the same:

‘Here is (x) problem with religion’

‘Oh that is bad but religion can do good!’

‘Something something something Jesus!’

‘People are ignant and that makes me very sad ☹ I wish people knew religion the way I did!’

It is the limp-wristed litany of idiots who try to keep the ‘middle-ground’. You know, radical atheists are as bad as radical [insert any religion], except that the former can’t condone wars. Or honour killings, or suicide, or literally anything because it has no doctrine of dogma.

There are so many frustrating aspects of this circle-jerk of spiritually accepting hippies, it’s hard to know where to begin. You can’t use logic, because these kinds of people have a list of allergies including:

• logic
• reasoning
• understanding arguments whose premise isn’t based entirely on emotion and can’t be settled with ‘let’s agree to disagree ☺’
• research
• reading
• having their feelings hurt

So what do you do? I’m too much of a brash idiot to look at these people holding hands and sighing about how the world could be so much better, and I always end up feeling like I’m the arsehole for pointing out that the EMPEROR HAS HIS COCK AND BALLS DANGLING OUT.

And that’s important to me. Seriously. I’m not doing this to upset people. This stuff actually drives a huge wedge between myself and friends who are believers, because this is what it comes down to:

If they believe in hell (which they should unless they’re cherry picking idiots), then they believe by my non-belief that I’m going to hell. And they are fine with that, and fine with the god that will send me there. And no, I do not send myself there — if it exists, I do not want to go. Done. Now the ball is in their god’s court — does he send me or not? They believe he would, or by the rules, does do this regularly. They support and love a being who would (hypothetically) have me tortured for eternity.

Here’s the difference between them and myself: if I knew in my heart of hearts there was a god that would send one of my friends to hell, a person who I care for, or perhaps even love, for not believing, I would defy that god with every molecule in my body. I would rather burn alongside them than stand for the injustice of differing belief being the ground on which a person is judged and given over to suffering.

Now, I know it’s not real, and I don’t really think they do either. If I was going to be tortured in reality, or if they found out I had, I think they would be at least slightly concerned. They would never endorse it, or think I deserved it, but somehow they can give god this credit,

So when I look at these people, and how truly, disgustingly evil that thought process is, I am caught. If I view them as idiots, that’s fine, because they have no idea of the implication of what they’re saying. If I treat them as people who have really thought about this, how on earth can I call a person that would love someone that would torture me my friend?

At least there’s a cream for herpes.