What rejection in dating teaches us
Bill Gates was turned down by Melinda Gates the first time he asked her out in the parking lot of Microsoft. But more often than not, rejection is the nail in the coffin for the prospects of a romantic relationship.
We all experience rejection. The difference between us is how we handle that rejection. Some shut off, take it personally, and lose faith in humanity. But that’s a mistake.
Why? Because rejection is actually an amazing thing. It’s actually a good thing, although it never feels like that at the time.
It’s because rejection teaches us the true value of acceptance. Every guy or girl who rejects you, is just a stepping stone on the path to finding someone who truly accepts you. For who you are.
Maybe, just maybe, because that very person rejected you, you will only love and appreciate the person you find eventually even more. Even more than had it not been for all the guys or girls that said “no”, or weren’t interested, or were unavailable, or were dishonest.
Rejection is easy. But acceptance is hard. That’s why the world is so full of rejection, of broken promises and misplaced bets. If you reject someone, you never have to be vulnerable to them. They are never vulnerable to you. It’s like putting up armor and shuffling them away. But to accept them, it’s much scarier. But also — possibly far more rewarding that anything you’ve ever experienced.
Noone is ever good enough for anyone these days it seems. They say 90% of guys go after the top 10% of girls and vice versa. Shallowness rules the hour, and it seems that everyone needs to rewatch Shallow Hal, as an instructional video, not comedic. It seems we’re all busy finding new ways to reject others, but are we looking at ourselves in the same harshness of light?
Millennials, my generation, are some of the most guilty of shallowness. Online dating, and apps such as Tindr specifically reinforce shallowness. We’re busy viewing stranger’s bodies, making silent judgements, but not thinking about that person’s character. Are they funny, can they make you laugh, and smile? Are they honest? Do they care?
Here’s a big one: How do they make you feel when your around them? If they make you feel more alive, that’s certainly a sign of good chemistry.
I’m not going to begrude anyone for going after people they find attractive. After all, it’s not like we can have a successful, meaningful romantic relationship with someone we don’t find attractive. I will begrude people for only going after those people who they find the very MOST attractive. Like finding the prettiest face to date will solve all their problems in life.
Much rejection is due to the beauty contestent nature of dating. Certainly, there are plenty of guys and gals who reject people they find attractive because they think they can find someone even MORE attractive. They think the grass is always greener on the other side.
People who think that the grass is greener on the other side, might aswell change girlfriends or boyfriends every year. For a younger, prettier, sexier person. They’re never satisfied. They always believe there is someone out there better for them.