Often, I point out to my husband that he has the luxury of being a “bigger” feminist than myself because he is a man and therefore can say things that will be “allowed” by a man but would be a detriment, given the failings of society, coming from a woman.
I can’t speak for other women, but I don’t love to say this: It’s just true.
elizabeth tobey
174

I don’t like “bigger” feminist so much as “more outspoken” for this very reason. As a white cis-male I can pretty much say whatever I want. And I’ve chosen to use that for good, instead of evil. I don’t feel like I should get a medal for that, exactly. I’m not perfect at it, being programmed as male in this society, but I do my best and listen as best I can.

For instance: The number of times I have had to amplify a woman’s ideas makes me kind of sad. “I agree with <Woman’s Name’s> idea that we should [idea]. I think <Woman’s name> is right.” I found the trick is to drop their name in so many times they can’t attribute it to you. But I fucking shouldn’t have to do that. That’s bullshit.

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