The push and pull towards perfection: for sure irresistible, sometimes unsettling, but absolutely perpetual and indomitable.
It has always been there. For the most part like a backseat driver, in the sense that it can be quite annoying but generally points towards usefulness. This kind of backseat driver, however, seems intent on pushing me towards perfection.
Like a backseat driver hidden from the rear-view mirror, waiting to be seen. Then invited forward, integrated into the whole, and pursued passionately. Invited forward is key, and integrated into the whole. Before being invited forward it feels like a somewhat unsettling push. Upon being invited, perfection becomes an irresistible pull.
In truth I should have noticed it before. The push has been driving me to insanity at times, but close to perfection at others. The pull is a fairly new experience for me to play with. It feels far more irresistible than the push, less indomitable.
But not as perpetual as I would like. Moving through the world is, for now, a fleeting experience.
Perfection has therefore been a blessing and a curse. Pushing me up mountains that are not mine, but in the process widening the view of what’s possible. Ultimately preparing me for my mountain.
And as I say, it has been more of a push than pull most of the time up to now. A push that feels like a burden, rather than a thing that pulls beautifully in its direction for the sake of discovering more of itself.
Ah, for the sake of discovering more of itself. Perfection.
What is perfection?
To me, perfection is many things. Both tangible and wholly intangible. Residing within me or without m. In the subjective, or the objective–if I can make such a distinction at all.
One thought that springs to mind is, what would objective perfection be without subjective perfection? Might subjective perfection overwhelm objective perfection? Perhaps they can be pursued concurrently. Perhaps there’s no difference at all. In my next article I elaborate on this.
What is perfection not?
For me, it is not about being the ‘best’. The best is not necessarily perfect, and perfect is not necessarily the best.
But perfection is always perfection. Or is it? Is there an evolution capacity to perfection? Might it shift over time, for example growing to include additional qualities, or becoming more integrated with self.
In addition, the idea of being the best gives me the sense of something ‘out there’ in the world — some metric defined by others — while the type of perfection I am interested in is different.
The perfection I am interested is defined by my internal standards. My own internal understanding of what it means, how it feels and what brings it forth.
How do I use it?
Carefully, maybe. But perhaps the better question is ‘when do I use it?’ and ‘what for?’. What for is a tricky question. Is perfection to be pursued for the sake of perfection alone? Or is perfection to be pursued for the external co-benefits? I suppose that perfection will bring co-benefits. But is perfection enough?
Probably not, there are many entirely valid external co-benefits that perfection can bring. Better relationships for one.
An even trickier question might be when to use it. Do I wait for it? Do I chase it? If I can recognise the pull, is the answer ‘always’? Or just when it’s useful? How do I know when it’s useful? Or, as I suspect, is it always useful?
How do I know when perfection is present?
In my next article I talk in more detail about this. I suppose that I know perfection in contrast to what it is not. For example, I know love and perfection as separate — for now.
I also know how it feels. For me it is highly dynamic, in motion.
Can I ever attain perfection?
Yes. Maybe not forever. But yes, certainly.
How fundamental is perfection?
Not sure. The question to ask is, what is more fundamental? Perhaps my self — the witness. Or perhaps something more.
Perhaps perfection is a quality of the self, one of many maybe. That would make sense to be. I am reminded of the Christian verse “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you’.
What next?
I suppose the burden of being pushed by perfection might have run its course. It is time to start being pulled by it.
This will turn perfection from something burdensome that acts on me, to something beautiful that I act out.
Something I become intentionally, versus something that becomes me reluctantly.
Here’s an AI assessment of the above: Perfection is both a guide and a burden, an internal and external quest, and something that shapes our actions and understanding of the world. This nuanced exploration acknowledges the multifaceted nature of perfection, suggesting a shift in perspective from passive to active engagement, and from an external to an internal pursuit.
Two primary lines of evidence for the previous pushes towards perfection: periods of intense study and physical activity.
MG
