The Woman In Back
-The pursuit of the missing “L” (Love)

So it seems that everybody wants to find the elusive “one” and there are a few ways to try and meet that special someone in this day and age. Let’s start with what is usually called ‘The old fashioned way’. Meeting someone on a night out, this of course means getting your best pulling outfit on and heading into town (and unless you’re brave you might want to rope together some friends).

So there you are you've made it out and you’re currently at the bar scanning the room for your potential catch. If you spot a girl you like after a few drinks you can go over and try to talk to her and it helps if you can feign confidence too. All going well she lets you dance next to her for the rest of the night until it’s throwing out time and the loud music stops. This part is crucial, you have to actually talk to her now. Keeping things light and witty you try to charm her a little bit and all going well she lets you take her home.

The night of passion is a drunken mist of fun and excitement and you feel a sense of accomplishment that your goal has been achieved, You came you saw you conquered. The next morning could be awkward however unless you manage to keep the connection from the night before in a more sobering light (it’s rare but possible). Only when you reflect on the events of the night in an honest way do you realise….She’s not ‘The One’.

Now many men would have women believe that all they want is a string of drunken nights and never the dreaded ‘commitment’ of a loving relationship, And many women would readily believe this after experiencing their side of that drunken night all to often. But to the men reading this, “we know the truth”. It’s my belief that nobody in their right mind would only want meaningless, careless and loveless interactions for the rest of their lives.

Most boys grow up with ‘the lads’ and it’s cool to be one and only be after one thing from the opposite sex (there are many other types of people in the world but allow me to focus on one for now, thanks….and thanks for reading this far down by the way! if I was there i’d kiss ya! anyway..). Before boys (and men) really mature they keep that view on the opposite sex for a long time, and it’s no secret that women grow up more quickly than us males and this in turn creates the illusion that all mean are after one thing.

It’s that illusion that makes the next avenue of finding ‘The One’ nearly impossible. I am of course talking about what’s called ‘The modern way to find someone’ the dating site. Now the dating sites (plural because there's loads!) they boast ‘the quickest and easiest way to find The One’ and most have made it quicker and easier with an app version for your mobile, find ‘The One’ whilst out and about by looking at your phone (and passing her by on the street).

By now you've probably guessed I don’t hold much faith in the dating sites but if you’re still fine with my ramblings i’ll tell you why? So you download the app (or log in to the site) and sign up, step one is to create your profile but i’m not here to tell you how to (maybe you know all too well). You’re browsing the site and see someone you really find attractive (much like in the bar situation, nothing wrong with it so far). Then you read their profile from top to bottom to find out everything you can about this stunning creature (let’s assume you’re not just after ‘some fun’ shall we). No you’re serious about finding ‘The One’ and this is the best way in this day an age apparently.

So now you know enough to make your move, you hit ‘send message’ and begin to compose something you feel is unique, witty and personal then after reading and re-reading it a couple of times (you don’t want to mess this one up) you hit send and wait in hope. Now I feel i’ll get into hot water with a few people reading this but this is my own opinions and views and i’m not here to offend. This is where the site falls short as one of three things can happen next, either you never hear anything back as your message gets lost in the sea of messages this woman has received from the many men trying to connect (for whatever reason) with her as she sits cherry picking the best looking men to play with.

Or maybe you get a message back from an uninterested woman stating you’re not right and the reason possibly comes in the form of something flimsy like “i’m after older/younger” or my personal favourite “I don’t think you read my profile/you’re just trying to trick me into bed” (which we have already established is not the case). Or there is the third way that she actually messages back interested and (assuming you don’t mess it up) you go on actual dates and join the supposed ‘many people’ that have found success (i’m not convinced they exist but if you do please come forward!)

It’s likely if you go on a few dates with them it won’t work for whatever reason and you learn it was just a waste of time (beginning to see why i’m single? think i’m all negative? maybe you’re right) I’m not writing this to anger or upset anyone and I don’t want anyone's pity, if i’m honest all I really wanted to do is make people aware that not all men are the same and as long as we’re not written off as such there’s a chance that more people will find each other. Romance can’t be just for the movies.

I realise this rant is extremely one sided and massively stereotypical but I would just like to put this view out there and see what others think and if there are any other people who agree/disagree with what i’ve written i’m sure you will let me know!

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