My Mom Did The Right Thing Yesterday

I called my Mom and she told me “You’ll never guess who I ran into at the market!” I start rambling the list of foes and then she tells me! I was expecting my Mom talked to her! “I looked at her and she looked at me and I turned my face away! She was there with the kid who I didn’t even look at and her husband — boy does he look like he has problems (her husband) — slack jawed- goofy- but when comparing the two together- he at least dressed and presented himself very decent- her- she looked like a damn fool and nobody would be proud to date or marry her so I have no idea what he sees in her — probably just both goofy and loving it!” If you know Ma she’s not like that! She at least smiles and says hi! To everyone!

That’s exactly how to do it-Ma! And Ma hasn’t seen this person face to face since January of 2006 I believe! That’s going on 11 years! She did see her at a Chinese restaurant a few years back but they were at another table and not close by — this time WHAM! Face to face! Mom kept her cool and just turned her face away! Mom knows how a lot of people back home were to me and this person I had to tolerate for 14 years through good and bad times and then get yelled at for being me! That’s not a way to have a friendship with anyone! If anything- people need to be accepting of other’s personas! Chill! Relax! Not be so judgmental! That’s what ended my friendship first and foremost with them!

You see- had I been in that same situation and saw her I would have done the same thing! The girl’s mom on the other hand- if I saw her and she made attempt to say hi first I would have said hi back because her mom was always — always the best of the bunch! She was nice- caring- and she even knew how I was treated at times by her daughter who became more and more whacky and feminist as the years went on that I couldn’t deal with it or her closest fem friend whom I had strong feelings for in my early years of college and couldn’t ask girls out because of how a dork like her turned me down! Despite trying to reconcile on two separate occasions and to just be friends but not as close as before — the relationship was always polluted since 1993 and I was always- always in the wrong because I was a guy! Because I was not as “smart” as her! Not WHEELER or those who would openly mock me in front of her or the classes at CCHS! Not others who were stuck up and selective with who they could and couldn’t date! They were all fine and dandy for harassing me in the open! I was viewed as a sicko rapist I believe when certain people talked down at me and how I treated women — AND I WAS STILL A FREAKING VIRGIN even up until the time I ended the friendship with this person! I think I would know I treat women just fine! The way these girls would talk to me seemed as if I raped women! “You degrade us! You don’t treat us right! You and your ego! You and this and that!” It was always me being at fault for being me! Even if I made jokes — my fault! ALWAYS!Better to have not said anything at all because I will always think of myself as coming off as a “rapist” with how these two girls talked down on me! How I “hurt women” when I didn’t in any way do a god damn thing to any of them! I couldn’t even get a date! I couldn’t even work up the courage and when I did (and I always did at some point) every girl would turn me down because of my image! My body! Because others had made fun of me in high school! That’s how it always ALWAYS went! Yes- girls- YOU BOTH KNOW THAT’S WHY I COULDN’T GETDATES! There were guys who joked about strong strong strong sexual acts around girls and still got them! Me — anything I joked about- Even if it was “Let’s go out! Maybe we can have fun and I can lose my kissing virginity” or something along those lines — I’d be considered a freak! Telling this to another “kissing virgin” was just pathetic! Even if just as a joke! My jokes were funny and pretty harmless! I never ever talked about sex with any girl! EVER! All I wanted was to go out! I felt so lonely! I had nobody but myself! And these girls were EXACTLY the same way! They had nobody either!

My Mom went on to describe this former friend of mine as hideous! My Mom remembered when she first met her when were were 7th graders “She had such beautiful eyes!” She was plain disgusted when she saw her! The way she dressed and did her hair! She had put on a lot of weight and also looked like a lesbian! Not that my Mom is wrong because this person has always loved doing the “butch” look and claimed she was bi or liked women but probably not really bi or lesbian because never once dated-kissed-or done smack with the same sex! Plus married to a guy with many mental disabilities and most likely other problems (I know I shouldn’t talk people label me as mental as well!)!” All talk- no action! Can’t say the same for me though-can I! “Her eyes were her best feature and now what she’s doing to herself- her body and her image cover them up! Dressing with fishnet-type pants which aren’t even pants- covered in crossword puzzles (something that of a child)- shaving her hair super short- and then of course-the weight she put on even before having a child around her chest and her stomache and backside!” My Mom told me “One time I wanted you to marry her — when you were younger- but that’s when she kept herself decent! Now she’s a mess!” No ma- I would have never married her — she actually had the hots for the girl I wanted to — you know — date and marry — even if she was a ditzy weirdo according to the norm!

You see- we Sinacori’s are friendly people! We are hard working! We don’t slack and if we do it’s because there’s not much we can do in a given situation! But we always try to be nice to others and say hi even if we don’t speak to someone! What this girl put me through for the majority of my schooling and after I moved to LA- let’s just say my Mom had every right to turn her face away!

Just because one scores so high on an aptitude test in 8th grade or whenever and then has to get a certain grade to keep a scholarship and slacks while doing so — that’s no reason to say they are a success because in the end that’s just being a procrastinating slacker! I remember busting my ass off in 8th grade — especially in Science my final quarter where the whole class had mostly garbage for projects and “she who shall not be named” only had a report and a shoddy little poster with nothing on the topic of schizophrenia! Like I said in older posts — MAKE ME THE DAMN Project! We would have taken grand! I was “unjustly” graded a B when I placed 2nd and all the winners got A’s and my so called BFF got an A as well and I’m pretty sure for the grade for final quarter- just to keep that stupid scholarship to CCHS! That’s something I think my teacher was very wrong doing! She overlooked me every quarter for that stuck up arrogant slacker! Then that slacker turns around and goes “I should have been top girl in the class!” With two others who had more A’s than you!!!! RIGHT! Again — in Central Catholic — she did it again “I should have won the English Award! I was best writer and best at English there!” When there were others who had higher A+ grades and nothing below A’s! Come on! And again- Merrimack! “I should have gotten the English award! I am so sure I came in 2nd!” Right! With a “D” in a lit class when there were probably others who had higher English GPAs! Right!All that is having a big ego! And that’s not being a success! It’s slacking and wanting to make success from it!

Getting married and having a kid and a ghetto property one has to take 30 years to pay off with rare down payment doesn’t mean SMACK! It doesn’t mean one has succeeded! Nor having a job or paying bills! It’s just life! Why — didn’t so and so have to move back in with parents at over the age of 30 because they were kicked out of their apartment! Hah! If one can’t afford a simple apartment one sure can’t afford any home with today’s economy being what it is! Success isn’t measured in that stuff! Which this person would say it is! It’s totally being a hypocrite because not once they wanted any husband or kid — not that I can remember! They wanted to be bi and had never seriously or even dated someone of their own sex — or opposite! And would attack me for trying to go out with others and how- despite keeping my hands to myself- the way they would talk to me I sort of viewed it as me being a rapist! Stupid- huh! Take my parents! They were able to pay off their first home in several years! And I’m not even saying that’s success! That’s just being very hard workers and not slacking! Success is what happens in the end! How good you were being a damn parent NOT because you are one means you are! How well you bring your kids up! Let’s see where this will all go — the kid will have free choice unlike I did and so many others because the 1980s to some was controlled by our parents! Do I hear “Gay” or “Bi” and rebel in the making!

Success is measured in how much you put into life and “achieving” whether it’s completing something- placing in something- going after something AND NEVER GIVING UP OR SLACKING — not just have the luck to obtain certain things that are typical like marriage and kids! One must work hard for success and I have done that all my life! I can’t call myself a success because I would never be that egotistic! Have I achieved goals — of course! A lot of them! But I would never say I’m more successful than someone! When you’ve accomplished something that’s totally success but one should not call themselves that because of developing an ego! Haven’t I learned that yet!!!!!

All the money in the world — all the fame — brains— talent — looks — helping people — whatever! None of that can bring true success unless it’s earned the right way! Not by being an arrogant procrastinating egotistical slacker! When one does it the right way with any of those things then it can be called a success!

Three cheers to Ma!

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